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Review #4744500
Viewing a review of:
 The Town Watcher Open in new Window. [E]
Millicent has the time and the inclination to keep an eye on things.
by SandraLynn Author Icon
Review of The Town Watcher  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi SandraLynn Author Icon,

*Dragon* This review was written on behalf of House Targaryen as part of "Game of ThronesOpen in new Window.! *Dragon*


Disclaimer


The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


What I liked:

*Bulletr* This is a great, little story. You captured my attention at the start with the contents of Millicent's "cavernous tote bag." I especially loved the, "heaping mound of mind-your-own-beeswax for the impolite, mouthy hooligans." (I wasn't entirely sure of the purpose of this, though.) I liked the way the story unfolded. You show us Millicent, who could be any old lady simply gone to feed the ducks. But, no. She has another purpose. When she uses the binoculars that her nephew Sam left her when he died, we understand that there is slightly more to it. Millicent is out keeping watch, observing. Not being a snoop or busybody.

*BulletR* Millicent's personality is great. I love how much she seems to have loved her nephew. I think she says that the family business is hers now, which is why she is sat where she is, watching the goings-on from the town square. But, I'm not sure whether she really is running a business, or if she just says that. Maybe she sees it as her responsibility. Either way, she is great.

*BulletR* When Millicent is watching the people, she sees Mr Peabdy and Ivy, and I think a shot of jealousy runs through her. She mentions his haircut, and how could Ivy be cradling his head after the accident? The green-eyed monster has struck. You draw our interest when Millicent speaks of Sam, her nephew. I think he must have been killed on a night stakeout. So I assume he was a cop? At the end of the story, Millicent wonders if Sam is seeing the events she watches. That's a lovely touch.


Suggestions: I have a few grammatical suggestions, but I have put them in a dropnote, so you can read them at your leisure. Or not.
Grammatical Suggestions


Parting comments: I enjoyed reading your story. In just a few words, you created a rounded character with backstory and interesting possibilities for her future.

Happy Account Anniversary!

Choconut

My House Targaryen Sig. for Game of Thrones, 2024.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 04/13/2024 @ 12:02pm EDT
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4744500