\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4744886
Review #4744886
Viewing a review of:
"I Hate Early Morning Visitors" Open in new Window. [13+]
Lou Ryan, 1930's Private Detective, in the Windy City.
by Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥmas Author Icon
Review by 👼intuey Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hello Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥmas! This review is given on behalf of "Game of ThronesOpen in new Window..

*Reading* Another good detective story. Lou is a gumshoe detective in the 1930s. He takes a job to follow a cop's wife. The cop thinks his wife has gotten herself into some trouble. When the detective questions if he's really sure he wants to go there, once he learns something, he can't unlearn it. The policeman makes it known that he doesn't think his wife is cheating, but may be in some sort of trouble. Lou accepts the job to find out what's going on with the policeman's wife.

The Title and Description - Great title that pulled me in and urged me to read on. I do think you should expand on the description. I believe writing a little bit about what the story is about, besides it being a detective in Chicago, in the 1930s, would help bring more readers to read your work.

The Characters - Great set of characters. The cop, though friendly, hints at what it would be like to not do as he expects. The gumshoe detective has his demons but seems to be an overall good guy. Then there's the policeman's wife. She's innocent enough and just wants a better life with her husband. Though, she doesn't want her secret to get out.

The Setting - Nice descriptions and details that allow the reader to envision each scene as we read.

What I Liked Best - The scene that happens in the speakeasy involving the detective, the dame, and Lenny.

Below are a few suggestions. Please use or discard them as you see fit.

*Bookopen*
ouple sawbucks

couple of sawbucks


*Penb* losing-streak


losing streak


*Tack* She has the red hair.


She was the red head.


Thanks so much for sharing your story with us. I enjoyed it.

*Heart* Tracey


"When you play the Game of Thrones you win, or you die." Cersei Lannister
House Lannister image for G.o.T.



The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
   *NoteR* You have not yet responded to this review. Ignore
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4744886