"Game of Thrones"  "The Iron Bank of Braavos" 



Hi Frigid,

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: The Road Less Traveled

First Impression: I like the direction you took in the first challenge of the Games. I like the menu items were tied to reading genres. That could be a fun menu for sure. I would have to try each one out before my vacation is done.

What needs your attention: I didn't see any punctuation or grammar issues. But I did see a spelling error in this sentence to spend the summer before collage -- college. It's in the first paragraph.

What part I liked best: I'm like your character my phone is never charged when I need it for directions so I am conscious of the battery.

Interesting name for a book cafe in the historic district. And yes food and a cup of coffee sounds perfect on a day of adventure.

Overall impression: The story fulfilled Gaby's prompt, kudos! There are a lot of long sentences that slow the pacing in the story. Joy has a really helpful static item for pacing you might find helpful

STATIC

Pacing  (13+) Pacing is manipulating the storytime to give the story its flow. #1556311 by Joy

. It's worth the time to check it out.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Hope you're enjoying the games.


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .