Your story captures the essence of a traditional spooky tale, weaving together elements of suspense and fear with a setting that intensifies the mood. The dark and stormy night backdrop, combined with the ghost stories and the dramatic entrance of a rabid bat, creates a vivid scene that grips the reader. This story excels at building tension and then bringing it to a crescendo with the bat's attack, effectively turning a children’s sleepover into a scene of chaos and panic.

While the story is engaging and the atmosphere is fittingly eerie, the transition from storytelling to the actual encounter with the bat could be fleshed out more to enhance believability and emotional impact. Perhaps adding more about the children's reactions or fleshing out the description of the setting prior to the bat's entrance would make the scenario feel even more real and terrifying. Additionally, exploring the aftermath in more detail could provide closure and a deeper emotional resonance, showing how the event affected the children and the narrator long after the bat was gone.

Your narrative is a compelling blend of horror and adventure that keeps the reader on edge from start to finish. The use of a stormy night and the legendary ghost stories as a prelude to the real horror of the bat invasion is a clever twist that ties the supernatural with the natural, heightening the terror. This story skillfully plays on the fears of the unknown and the uncontrollable, making it a memorable and chilling read. With a bit more detail on the characters’ emotional journey and the aftermath, this could be a deeply affecting horror story that lingers with the reader well after the conclusion.