Hi Jackie! I found your story to be very enjoyable and entertaining. I could certainly feel the mystery that you so cleverly wrote. It could have almost have been also in the comedy genre, as it had a bit of light humor in it as well, which I also liked.

You are a talented storyteller. I loved the suspense and adventure that you smoothly added throughout your story, and your descriptions were spot on to have me captivated with every word.

For example, at one point, the character mentioned that they were hiding in an old house, and then later when the police jiggled the door knob and the door squeaked, I could imagine all of those sounds that an older house would make.

I noticed that you had a phrase in bold, so I'll assume this was for a contest. I hope you did well in it, or at least, I'm sure, you must have made it hard for the judges to choose because this is very good!

I thought it was a great move to start the mystery and suspense right from the starting hook. When the narration spoke about partners hiding in a suspect's house, I thought they might be police officers, but then I remembered the title and realized they were detectives. I could hear the anxiety in the character's voice, as they hear noises and hide for fear of being discovered. The setting you described so well, made me think of an old cellar for sure, with talk of cobwebs and decaying rats.

I felt that you described what the characters were experiencing while hearing footsteps upstairs. 'My heart is thumping around in my chest." I wondered what would happen next and wanted to read on. Nice work in this page turner. I thought it ended nicely, with the characters feeling that they did a good job in solving the crime, and they could, if they can first get out of jail! Fun story!

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.







My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .