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Review #4745599
Viewing a review of:
 What does that say about me??? Open in new Window. [E]
I wrote this July 3, 2015, the day after my birthday.
by Chaka-khan Wigfall Author Icon
Review by Lyn's a Wit... Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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Hi Chaka-khan

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: What does that say about me???

First Impression: This feels like a coming of age poem where the author is reflecting on things in their life without actually saying. The author has chosen to be vague so the reader is left wondering what the author is worried about what is sad.
What needs your attention: I think the poem needs tweaking so the cadence flows smoother for one. Two the poem would be more impactful if the author said more what they don't want to see and why. Is it because of cultural restrictions because that is what the reader feels in the beginning of the second stanza.

What part I liked best: This reader likes the closing stanza because the author is indicating they're weighing things in their mind that should or shouldn't be said. What that says is you're walking a thin line on how you feel and what you dare feel. It's wise to be careful not to be hurtful to others but it's equally as important to be truthful to ourselves.

Overall impression: This free style poem gives the author the opportunity to look at things he doesn't want to see but they exist. The cadence was off so the poem felt like it needed smoothing out specifically in the second stanza.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Be true to one's self.
created by Gervic

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