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Review #4745779
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by A Guest Visitor
Review by Asterix Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
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A "Game of Thrones" Open in new Window. review from
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The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


Hello Dee Author Icon

First impression:

This story is going to be about a woman called Sofia and her adventures with horses and the circus. The title hints at a lot of freedom with the word "unbridled."
The first few paragraphs prove that there will be horses and that it is going to be a whirlwind of activity.

What works:

The whole scene were you describe how Sofia soars through the fire rings and flies higher than normal, carried by magic and incantations works superbly. The magic, the mystery, and crowd, the exhilaration - they are all right there and palpable. I actually sat more upright while reading, kind of like on the edge of my seat during an especially daring stunt in a TV show.

What needs work:

The transition from Victor to Sofia as the rider is rough. It looked as if Midnight Fury had broken his leg, but then he was still the horse that needed to be ridden.

While some mystery is good, it never comes out what Sofia saved the circus from. I also wonder if she will keep having to do this over and over to keep the circus saved.

How was Victor a nationwide known horse rider and then he was so jealous so quickly? And on crutches so quickly?

Final thoughts:

As you see, the story works very well on a visceral level. From the logical side of progression of time and events, it can use some smoothing over.

Annette
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