"Game of Thrones"  "The Iron Bank of Braavos" 



Hi Bellyinflater

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Bandits Blow Out

First Impression: Unusual means to free themselves from a bandit and to win the conflict in the end. Not what I was expecting at all

What needs your attention:
1. "They were told it was suppose to quite easy for it was only one bandit but she proved to be anything but easy for the Uzumaki's. " We're in past tense in this sentence so suppose should be supposed and you forgot the word be after to.
2."There was on other problem and it wasn't now escaping." on should be one

3. Naruto have them to her and Kushina shoved them down her throat. This sentence is misleading. I had to read it twice to realize the Kushina forced the bandit to swallow the pills. Simple fix change her to the Bandit's throat.

4. Please keep in mind that not all reviewers have 20/20 vision. The small font size is difficult.

What part I liked best: Naruto and Kushina fleeing together. Kushina is relieved that despite the unusual method Naruto did have a good ninja escape plan.

Overall impression: Unusual short ninja story with Naruto and Kushina escaping the ninja and making sure the ninja couldn't hurt anyone else.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say?????


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .