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 Review #4746471 |
 | Fable’s sad today!  [E] When you’ve exhausted yourself looking for your baby bunnies.  |
| (4.0)| The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. This is being reviewed for
 Hey, Legendary❤️Mask! I'm stopping by to give you a review for "Fable’s sad today!" . I remember when I first heard about Fable and thought you were the absolute best dog namer EVER!  I've actually got Fable listed on my list of names I think are cool for all the stories I'll never get around to writing.  Anyway, so yeah, I saw this and wanted to jump on it. Plus, it only has 1 review!  Nope, definitely want to remedy that with another review. Okay, so first, the title. The title grabbed me. Since I vicariously love Fable, I don't want your dog to be sad.  I immediately wanted to read this to see what was happening. Good job grabbing me and drawing me in so fast. Granted, anything with Fable draws me in, so you sort of had an edge there.  Anyway, so good title, though I must say, if I didn't know who Fable was, it might not have had the same effect. Maybe consider "My Dog, Fable, is Sad Today!" That way, anyone who reads the title will know it's about your adorable dog and they'll want to take a look. Further about the title, I know we say "Fable's" but when we write it like that, doesn't that mean Fable owns the sad? I mean, maybe so, but still, I'm not 100% sure we can actually write that...maybe, but I don't know about that.  Anyway, whether we can or not, I'm sure "sad" and "today" should be capitalized.  I also wouldn't recommend the exclamation point, but whatever. You do you. It's not wrong, IMO, so if it makes you happy...  Your description is adorable. I love how you call them Fable's baby bunnies, though I would have initially expected they were the writer's baby bunnies, not the dog's, but I already knew the story, so it only took a second for me to catch on. However, for a random reader, that would be a fun discovery for them to be expecting the baby bunnies to be yours and then to find out the dog thinks they're hers. As for your genres, you chose Animals, Arts, and Others. You totally should have chosen Pets instead of Other. On the good side, I see you don't mind editing (unlike me  ), so good job! You can change that genre to something useful. Genres are the #1 way people search for things to read, so don't miss out on 1/3 of your possible readers because you only used 2 legit genres. Okay, now I've read the item. YIKES! CRAP! I FORGOT HOW THIS STORY ENDS!  I totally forgot they died!    I'm so sorry! Yeah, that was so sad and frustrating!!! It would almost have been better if they'd died on Friday, at least, in my opinion. I would have felt better about it, at least. I'm so sorry. Also, I do hate my more playful and happy tone earlier.  My sincerest apologies. I do hope I didn't come off as TOO stone-hearted. Anyway, you did a good job of setting the scene and I love how you mention being afraid it was a snake in your flowerbed. Though if it was snowing, I'm sure it wouldn't be in any shape to bite. But if, by some miracle, it WAS able to get up that energy, I would think it would be quite likely as it would probably be very cranky. It sounds like you probably didn't realize at first that Fable wanted to mother the rabbits. I would have felt the same way. Who would have expected that? How sweet and I hate to agree with you, but they might have lived if she'd brought them all inside. But we don't know that. They also might have died anyway or maybe they would have accidentally been crushed by her in her sleep. It happens with puppies, so it could have happened with the rabbits. I do hope you don't feel TOO bad about it all...of course, I'm probably bringing up bad memories now. Anyway, I found 2 parts that confused me a bit. - "Fable watched the Ranger place them in a box take her babies in her mind and was frantically looking for them as soon as the Ranger left with them." This seems almost as if you started on one idea, then ended on another. - "My want to be a Momma!" I assume you meant to say "My dog wants to be a Momma!" The rating is reflects these mistakes. But other than that, this is a wonderful piece.  Otherwise, I didn't find any other problems. I think it's awesome that you got her a baby rabbit. Well done, mom! I do hope you've both recovered from the incident.  Thank you for sharing this story! It really touched me, not only how she responded, but how you helped her. Very lovely story!
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