"Game of Thrones"  "The Iron Bank of Braavos" 



Hi Bonnita

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Saint James

First Impression: This poem is a free style tribute to Bonnita's spouse, who she believes is her personal saint. But with that said, the author has taken a simple love gesture and tried to create the world instead of focusing on the man she obviously adores

What needs your attention:
1.The opening line is conflicting because the poem is about James but begins with I have never been a saint. It would work if the author said I have never seen a saint then later lines play into James's actions.

2 I would ditch imagery because it takes the cadence of your work away. I suggest trying this.

The dust of my heart
Settles when I realize
that my religion
has always been you.


What part I liked best: The dust of my heart settles gives a beautiful pause in the readers mine before delivering has always been you.

Overall impression: The poem has a lot of potential but right now the cadence is choppy and doesn't flow smoothly when read out loud. I suggest the author really consider what they're really wanting to say to James in this tribute.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say?????


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .