"Game of Thrones"  "The Iron Bank of Braavos" 



Hi Cuzzinjoe

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Wisdom of King Kurt and Princess Megan

First Impression: Princess Megan is one of my teammates in GOT. Her username is Tigger. She would get a chuckle at your story. Mighty crafty old king filling his castle and marrying his daughter to the man she loved. Best of both worlds indeed.

What needs your attention:
1. Princess Megan was in love with an Army captain. I thought at first she was in love with King Kurt because of the way this sentence. It would have been clearer if you had said Captain Spock. Then went with the King loved his daughter and she adored her father. It makes the connections clearer.
2. Consistency sometimes you capitalize Princess and other times you don't.
3.her doesn't need to be capitalized Her beloved Captain's Spock
4, nor does the after The Captain's Spock after The Accidental demise

What part I liked best: The King had a plan and he followed through knowing that Duke Randolph was greedy and predictable. His fortune was replenished and his daughter was happy.

Overall impression: Interesting short story that needs a bit of editing.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Keep on writing.


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .