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Review #4747848
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The Ariana Earle Open in new Window. [ASR]
A story about a woman Bomber Pilot, her soldier friends, Gizmo and Striper, the Gremlins.
by Princess Megan Snow Rose Author Icon
Review of The Ariana Earle  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
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Hello Princess Megan Snow Rose!

You are receiving this review of "The Ariana EarleOpen in new Window. in connection with "Game of ThronesOpen in new Window..


*Gem* Areas of Strength

*Bullet* Your characters really come alive, each with their own distinct personalities and backgrounds. I especially enjoyed Ariana Earle. She's depicted as a strong and determined bomber pilot with a hidden past as Amelia Earhart—a character from history whose disappearance has always fascinated me so this helped draw me further into the story! It also made her more than just a pilot but also a person with a complex personal history and motivations. The other characters, such as Five Sixer, Logan, Monty, and Story, are also well-developed. Your strong character development made each of them relatable and engaging, drawing me into your story and the world of your characters.

*Bullet* There were several unexpected plot twists that kept me engaged and eager to find out what would happen next. The reveal of Ariana's true identity as Amelia Earhart came as a surprise and added a new layer to her character and the story as a whole. Similarly, Story's declaration of love for Ariana added a romantic element to the story that was unexpected and intriguing. These plot twists added depth and complexity to your story. Really well done!

*Bullet* The setting of the story was vivid and easy to imagine. The Transylvanian castle where Ariana and her crew seek refuge after their plane crashes was a really good example your ability to create a strong sense of atmosphere, which added to the overall mood of the story. The setting also played a critical role in the plot where Gizmo and Striper help repair the plane. This richly detailed setting enhanced your story's whimsical elements, making it more immersive and engaging.

*Bullet* You explore several themes in this story, including identity, love, and the supernatural. Ariana's struggle with her past as Amelia Earhart and her desire for a new life as Ariana Earle Adams highlights the theme of identity and self-discovery. The theme of love is presented in the relationship between Ariana and Story. Their love for each other transcends time and circumstance. And the inclusion of supernatural elements, such as Gizmo and Striper, added a layer of mystery and intrigue to the story, enriching its themes and adding depth to its plot.


*Gem* Areas for Improvement

*Bullet* I felt like some scenes were rushed while others could have benefited from more development. For example, the resolution of the story, where Ariana and Story get married and the war ends, feels a bit abrupt after the intense action of the plane crash and the escape from the German soldiers. To improve pacing, you might want to consider adding more detail and depth to key scenes, such as Ariana and Story's relationship development or the aftermath of the war. This would help create a more balanced and engaging flow.

*Bullet* There were moments when your dialogue came across as forced or unnatural. One instance, when Story suddenly declares his love for Ariana, left me wondering if the dialogue could be more nuanced and reflective of his character's feelings leading up to that moment and not so intense all of a sudden. You could fix this with a focus on making it more organic and true to each character's voice. Consider how each character would realistically speak and react in that situation, and use that to guide their dialogue.

*Bullet* Ariana's true identity and the plane crash could be more impactful with a deeper exploration of the emotions and motivations involved. For example, Ariana's decision to reveal her true identity as Amelia Earhart and marry Story could be more emotionally impactful if you delved into her internal struggle and the reasons behind her choice to hide her identity. Build up to key moments with strong character development and emotional depth, so that the resolution feels earned and satisfying.

*Bullet* Gizmo and Striper add an interesting twist to the narrative but could be more seamlessly integrated into the story. For example, the introduction of Gizmo and Striper feels a bit sudden and disconnected from the rest of the story. You could try foreshadowing these supernatural elements earlier in the story and integrating them more smoothly into the overall narrative arc. It won't feel so abrupt with these fantastical elements are hinted at before their actual appearance in your story. In that way, they feel purposeful rather than an afterthought because you've run out of ideas of where to take the story or don't know how to solve a problem—in this case, repairing the plane.



*Gem* Overall Impression

Overall, your story is a creative and imaginative piece that blends elements of historical fiction, fantasy, and romance. Its strengths lie in its unique premise of combining real historical figures like Amelia Earhart with fantastical and supernatural elements. Your characters are well-developed with each having their own distinct personalities and motivations. This was a fun read with a solid mix of action, romance, and mystery.

With some refinements to pacing, dialogue, and consistency, the story could become even more compelling and immersive. Keep exploring unique ideas and pushing the boundaries of storytelling, as this is where your writing truly shined.

Write on! *Pencil*



*Snow2*          *Swords*          *Snow4*          *Swords*          *Snow2*


Let your imagination run wild.

Set your creativity free.

We are the Free Folk.

And we do not kneel.


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DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed within this review are the sole product of the reviewer. They do not necessarily reflect those of the group, activity and/or event in which they are affiliated. Any implementation of suggested edits is at the sole discretion of the piece's writer; they may be used when and where deemed necessary by the writer of the piece and/or disregarded in their entirety. The reviewer releases any and all rights and/or claims to those suggestive edits should they be utilized by the writer of the piece.


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