You created a rich and immersive setting. Your descriptions of the cabin and the surrounding prairie were well-written and quite exceptional to be honest. One of my favorite lines of prose about the setting was:

Though the summer's drought had left its mark, the knee-high brown grass swayed gently in the soft but troubled Chinook Winds, causing it to ripple like the ocean's waves flowing towards and gently embracing the shore.

That line vividly paints a picture of the prairie, showing both its beauty and harshness. This imagery not only sets the scene but also establishes a mood that reflects Parker's inner turmoil and the challenges he faces. The contrast between the peacefulness of Parker's surroundings and the sudden violence of the storm enhances the atmosphere, creating tension and foreboding.

Another breathtaking line as if the clouds were unzipped, they opened, and the rain, once scarce, began filling the barren streams, turning them into turbulent rivers effectively conveyed the abruptness and intensity of the storm, adding to the overall atmosphere of the story.

Parker is a well-developed character with depth and complexity. Through his actions and thoughts, I gained insight into his personality and motivations. His reverent placement of the last stone on the chimney of his cabin reflected his sense of pride and accomplishment, as well as his commitment to finishing the cabin before his upcoming marriage to Lydia. This detail not only revealed Parker's character but also foreshadowed future events, adding depth to the story. Parker's relationship with his father was subtly hinted at through their interactions. The father's initial concern for Parker's well-being, as seen when he leads him to the social room and stirs the fire, contrasted with his later dismissive attitude towards Parker's claims about Eli's return. This dynamic added a layer of tension and complexity to their relationship, hinting at underlying conflicts and unresolved issues.

The mention of Lydia and the upcoming marriage serves as effective foreshadowing and created anticipation and set up potential conflicts. Parker's desire to finish the cabin before the arrival of the first snow, in anticipation of Lydia becoming his wife, added a sense of urgency and importance to his actions, foreshadowing the significance of their relationship in the story. The appearance of the black cowboy hat with the initials E.E. on the fence post hinted at a mysterious past event involving Eli, adding intrigue and setting the stage for future revelations. This subtle foreshadowing created suspense and kept me engaged, eager to uncover the secrets of the story.

The story's pacing could be improved, particularly in the transition from the calm, reflective opening to the sudden storm and mysterious events. This may be a bit purposeful as a narrative reflection of natural events like a sudden downpour. If that's the intent, then disregard this point. The shift from Parker sitting on the porch to the sudden storm feels somewhat abrupt and could be smoothed out for better flow. One way to address this is to gradually build tension leading up to the storm, perhaps by incorporating subtle hints of the impending weather earlier in the narrative. This could create a more seamless transition and enhance the sense of anticipation for the reader.

While the dialogue serves its purpose, it could be more dynamic and reflective of the characters and their emotions. In the scene where Parker returns to his father's ranch after encountering the black cowboy hat, the dialogue between Parker and his father could be more expressive and nuanced, conveying the tension and fear that Parker is experiencing. Adding subtext and depth to the conversations could enhance the storytelling and make the interactions between characters more engaging. One approach could be to include more internal thoughts and reactions from the characters, providing insight into their emotions and motivations.

Characters, such as Lydia and Pa, could be further fleshed out to provide a richer understanding of their motivations and relationships with Parker. Lydia's role in the story is primarily as Parker's future wife, and Pa's character is mostly defined by his interactions with Parker. To improve character development, consider incorporating scenes or dialogue that reveal more about Lydia's personality and her relationship with Parker, as well as Pa's backstory and his motivations for his actions. This could add depth to the characters and make them more compelling to the reader.

The story ended somewhat abruptly, leaving several questions unanswered, particularly regarding Eli and the events surrounding his alleged return. The revelation that Eli's hat was found with his initials raises questions about his fate and whether he is truly back. To improve the resolution, consider providing more closure or hints towards a resolution in the narrative. This could involve revealing more about Eli's past and his possible motives, or it could involve a confrontation or resolution between Parker and Eli. Adding a final scene or epilogue that ties up loose ends could enhance the story's impact and leave the reader satisfied.

You've written a captivating story that immersed me in its setting and atmosphere. The vivid descriptions and handling of Parker's character development created a rich and engaging setting that kept me intrigued. The use of foreshadowing added depth to the story, creating a sense of anticipation and setting up potential conflicts. While the story's pacing could be improved, particularly in the transition between scenes, and the dialogue could be more dynamic and reflective of the characters' emotions, these are minor issues that do not detract significantly from the overall impact of the story. With some adjustments to pacing and dialogue, your story has the potential to be an even more compelling and immersive experience.

Write on!