Hello, Llothy. I came across your cute story, and I’m glad I did. I really enjoyed the light humor and the sweet farm theme.

I wonder how this story did in the competition for which it was entered. I hope well. I thought it read smoothly and had a fun plot.

Suggestion: I would capitalize the word, The, in the title. It should read, ‘The Lost Shoe’.

I believe that you successfully managed to write a great story from the prompt, ‘Write a story using the words, chicken, bottle, and shoe.

I think in such challenges, it’s usually a good idea to put those required words in bold font. Sometimes the challenge asks for it.

You opened the story well. Your readers get the idea that Amber is really tired, but she knows that it’s she who is responsible for taking care of the farm animals. Your readers can understand her frustration in trying to get ready when all she wanted to do was go back to sleep. To make matters worse, she can’t find one of her her shoes, so she gets stressed about it.

I don’t blame her for getting stressed, you wrote that she forgot to feed the animals the day before, so she really needs to feed them today or they will starve. Yikes! It made me wonder if farmers sometimes forget to feed their animals, but maybe not. It’s a story and anything can happen in a story after all.

Your readers can feel her stress build as she starts to get concerned about the sick animal that needs medicine, yet she still can’t find her shoe. I think you built up the suspense well, as we wonder what will happen next.

My favorite part was the humorous punch line at the end. After looking everywhere, she finally found it in the dogs mouth, and the animals didn’t starve! Fun story with a happy ending.

I enjoyed your story. I think if you left a space between the paragraphs it would have a better look. Nice work.



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My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .