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Review #4748335
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The Odyssey For The Eternal Tree Open in new Window. [E]
In a post apocalyptic world, Kat and Chris embarks on a quest to find the tree of life.
by Joseph Author Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)


Hello Joseph!

You are receiving this review of "The Odyssey For The Eternal TreeOpen in new Window. in connection with "Game of ThronesOpen in new Window..


*Gem* Areas of Strength

*Bullet* Your post-apocalyptic world was a compelling and unique setting for a story. Devastated by the Great War and filled with remnants of advanced technology and ancient mysticism, your story had everything I love about good science fiction: a blend of futuristic elements—the cyber Gods and Titan missiles— and ancient themes—the Tree of Life and spirit messengers. This mix created a rich and immersive backdrop for me to get really immersed in.

*Bullet* The concept of seeking the Tree of Life as a symbol of hope and healing in a world ravaged by war is both symbolic and thematic. It provided a clear goal for the characters and a sense of purpose that drove the narrative forward. Your use of descriptive prose effectively revealed the world's devastation, such as the ruins left by the Great War and the overgrown Ancient Hall of Books. These details helped establish atmosphere and tone in your story.

*Bullet* Chris and Kat are well-developed characters with distinct personalities and motivations. Chris was described as a natural born mountain man. He's shown as resourceful and adventurous with a deep connection to nature. Kat was described as beautiful and possessing a gift for singing. She's depicted as compassionate and strong-willed. Their relationship was well-crafted and their marriage portrayed a partnership based on mutual respect and love.

*Bullet* The inclusion of other characters, such as their friends and family members, added depth to the story and helped to flesh out the world—there are still remnants of humanity even after cataclysm and love still finds a way. While these characters weren't as fully developed as Chris and Kat, they served important roles in the story, such as providing support and assistance on the journey to find the Tree of Life.

*Bullet* As I mentioned above, one of your story's strongest assets is your use of descriptive language. Scenes like the expedition through Radiation Mountain and the encounter with the wolf-like creatures were vividly depicted and created a sense of danger and excitement for me. It was really engaging. The imagery used to describe the Ancient Hall of Books, with its high stained glass windows and shelves full of books, was particularly evocative. The contrast between the abandoned, overgrown hall and the bustling, cheerful hall that the group encountered later in the story was striking and added such depth to your world-building. Great job!

*Bullet* Your story had several unexpected plot twists that kept me fully engaged and eager to find out what would happen next. The discovery of the Daynites and the revelation that they had been sent back in time by the great spirits added layers of complexity to the story and was a plot point that I personally found super interesting! I want a standalone story of their adventure now, too, please! These twists made me invested in the outcome of the story. The encounter with the wolf-like creatures was another plot twist that was effecting in adding tension and suspense. The characters were forced to confront a new and dangerous threat which raised the stakes and added a sense of urgency to their quest.

*Bullet* The theme of hope is front and center in your story. It was effectively woven throughout the narrative. The quest to find the Tree of Life represented the beacon of hope itself in a world filled with despair and destruction. The unwavering determination of your characters and belief in the power of the ancient scrolls showed the strength of having strength even when everything around you is broken. The resolution of the story, where the characters were granted the power to persuade others to live in peace, was a powerful and uplifting conclusion that reinforced the notion that even in the darkest of times, there can always hope for a better future.


*Gem* Areas for Improvement

*Bullet* The middle section of your story, particularly the journey through Radiation Mountain and the encounter with the wolf-like creatures, felt somewhat slow-paced and repetitive. The detailed descriptions of their travel and the repetitive nature of their encounters with the creatures could be condensed to maintain momentum. You might consider trimming unnecessary details and focusing on the key moments that advance the plot or develop the characters. Instead of describing every step of their journey through Radiation Mountain, focus on the most significant events or challenges they face.

*Bullet* Your dialogue could be more dynamic and reflective of the individual personalities of your characters. When Chris and Kat discussed their next steps after the encounter with the wolf-like creatures, their dialogue could've been more nuanced and reflective of their emotions and motivations. Try giving each character a distinct voice and manner of speaking that reflects their personality. Use dialogue as a means of revealing character traits, relationships, and conflicts. You could also explore incorporating subtext and implications in the dialogue to add depth and complexity to their interactions with other characters.

*Bullet* Some of your secondary characters, such as the friends and family members in the expedition, could be more fleshed out. Jim, who was described as a family member, could've been given more depth and backstory to make him a more compelling character and not feel like a stock NPC that's just present to serve the plot and need of the story's momentum. By giving secondary characters more meaningful roles in the story and providing them with distinct personalities, motivations, and backstories, characters become more engaging and relatable to the reader, enhancing the overall reading experience.

*Bullet* While the world of your story was intriguing, more details about the Great War, the cyber age, and the aftermath could've aided in my understanding of and immersion within the setting. The story could explore the causes and consequences of the Great War in more depth, which would provide a richer context for the events of the narrative. Consider incorporating more exposition and backstory into the narrative, either through dialogue, narration, or character interactions. This will help to flesh out the world and provide a more comprehensive understanding of the setting for the reader.



*Gem* Overall Impression

Your story was a captivating blend of post-apocalyptic devastation, ancient mysticism, and futuristic technology. You created a rich and immersive world for readers to explore. The concept of seeking the Tree of Life as a symbol of hope in a world ravaged by war was compelling, and the characters of Chris and Kat were well-developed and engaging. The narrative was filled with vivid imagery and unexpected twists that kept me invested in the outcome.

While the story has several strengths, such as its unique setting and strong characterization, there are areas that could be improved: pacing, dialogue, and worldbuilding. With some refinement, this story has the potential to be even more compelling and become a truly memorable work of fiction.

Write on! *Pencil*



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DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed within this review are the sole product of the reviewer. They do not necessarily reflect those of the group, activity and/or event in which they are affiliated. Any implementation of suggested edits is at the sole discretion of the piece's writer; they may be used when and where deemed necessary by the writer of the piece and/or disregarded in their entirety. The reviewer releases any and all rights and/or claims to those suggestive edits should they be utilized by the writer of the piece.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 04/27/2024 @ 1:20am EDT
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