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 Review #4748516 |
 | Samuel and his Mother's Necklace  [18+] What happens when a man wants a necklace, even if it meant murder maybe, to get it back?  |
| (3.5)   This is a "Game of Thrones" review!Hello, AlisonTheWritingGirl!  Overall Impression:The story delves deep into emotional territories through the experiences of a young boy grappling with violence and depth. This sets the tone that carries through the tale. Title and Description: The title indicates the central element of the story—the necklace, which symbolizes both memory and legacy. The description accurately foretells narrative hints at a quest for retrieval that spirals into a much darker journey than initially anticipated. Hook and plot:The story effectively hooks the reader with the dramatic revelation of the past and the mysterious significance of a necklace. As the plot unfolds, the stakes escalate dramatically, introducing a series of situations that keep the reader engaged. However, the narrative could benefit from slowing down a bit, as it feels rushed instead of escalation. Characters and dialogue:Samuel has good depth and is compelling and relatable. It conveys the characters' emotions and personalities. However, this is another place where the story could benefit from slowing down. Some interactions feel rushed, and the characters need more space to develop their thoughts and reactions properly. Grammar and Mechanics:The story's emotional depth and intriguing plot provide a solid foundation. However, improvements in pacing and dialogue development would help its impact. In addition to sometimes feeling rushed, the characters don't always sound unique within the story. Giving each of them a stronger voice would help the reader out. Final Thoughts:This is an emotionally charged story that tackles profound themes of loss, betrayal, and the quest for truth. It is a gripping read--well done! Thank you for sharing your work with us! JayNaNoOhNo  My approach to reviews: "I'll Explain, but not Disclaim" The views and opinions in this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and, therefore, do not necessarily reflect the group, activity, and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
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