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Given: May 22, 2024 at 10:52pm
Length: 599 Characters |
537 w/o WritingML
I love the idea of a potion that gives peace, joy and love - and yes, that would look good on anyone!
While the story works as it is, I'd like to make a small suggestion if I may. I notice you spend many words building the suspense about the shop, and perhaps not enough about the potion itself. Maybe a little more leading up to her actually taking the potion ... ? Was she excited? Scared? Anticipating something?
A very special shout out for the easy to read type and layout - thank you!
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