Future Looks Good [ASR] I won’t see you with a broken set of eyes… |
Hello Amethyst, I'm here to read and review your item. If I have any suggestions, they will be velow. Feel free to use them or not. That's entirely up to you. I'm only trying to help. TITLE: The title fits the content of this story. PREMISE: A family is dealing with someone having Sundowner's Syndrome. * There was some good use of dialogue in this piece. I might have liked more, but probably you didn't need it in the requirements if it's for a contest or prompt. GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION ETC: The only errors I found and suggestions I have are below. These are easily corrected. * You know music is the one thing you'll always remember?" (he) asked. * I might be wrong, but I believe that you need to capitalise any words that are specific like Alzheimers, Dementia and Sundowner's Syndrome. OTHER COMMENTS: Sundowner's Syndrome often happens with people who have Alzheimer's or Dementia, but some people only have Sundowners. It usually occurs in the afternoon about when the sun goes down. These kinds of things are sad when it happens. And as we get older it seems like some of the simplest things can make us worry if we can't remember then, at least not in the moment. When I'm tired I've had it happen. I kind of think our minds are like filing cabinets. We file away everything but get a peek at what seems appropriate at the moment. Someone mentioned an event from years ago and was not happy that I couldn't remember it instantly. Within five minutes I did. It just took a few minutes, but it was very disturbing thst he was angry at me. I can remember things from many years ago. Like who even who was standing where during a conversation. Thanks for sharing this. My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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