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 Review #4772233 |
 | the pledge  [18+] this is what I call day zero.  |
| (4.5)| An Angel Army Review Hi Oaktwig . I'm JACE , and I have the honor of reading and reviewing your offering "the pledge" . I invite your attention to the comments below. Please bear in mind these notes are from one on the outside looking in; ultimately only you can decide what's right for your story.  Overall Impression. I found your item on Writing.Com's Read & Review feature. The feature offers reviewers significant gift points for completing valid reviews (of 250 characters or more) within a certain period of time. Longer items reviewed receive more gift points.It's a great way to earn WDC GPs to use across the site. See "Gift Points" for more information on this topic. Now on to your review.I found your pledge to be easy to read and rather compelling. Any pledge to change one's behavior if often very difficult to effect. The first step on the path to succeed in one's pledge is to state it. May I suggest to be successful, write it down placing it in a spot you might see regularly but away from any visiting prying eyes. After all, your business is YOUR business. You did list this item as non-fiction indicating your topic was real. Kudos to your taking this step and I wish you great success on your journey at relegating this aspect to a very minor part of your life. Honestly, I think this is a topic that plagues so many people, male and female. I know close friends who have said they watch porn to spice up their love life--after time sex becomes staid.  Technical and Editorial Considerations. In this section I normally list those areas that relate specifically to the mechanics of your writing--punctuation, grammar, spelling, etc.Technically, your story is written pretty well. I noted no obvious grammatical issues. But you should double-space each paragraph. You'll find most folks who post here do that to make items easier to read. The additional white space is easy on a reader's eyes. Toward the bottom of the Edit window you'll see an Advanced section. Paragraph spacing is in that section.  My Rating. 4.5.  Thank you for sharing this offering. Please accept these comments as offered in friendship and support. They are but my humble opinion.Reviewed by JACE    My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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