Lena's Violin [13+] A girl learns how everything can change at band camp. 2023 Quill Winner Genre:music |
Hi Mousethyme, As November’s writing month is approaching, I thought of your novella, “Lena’s Violin.” I remember reading it. I came back to read in its current completed form. I have a couple of thoughts to share with you which I hope you find useful. The plot and corresponding story lines are outstanding. I was immediately fond of Lena in her plight to be noticed by her parents. Her character as well as each of your characters were well developed. Linda, for example, as a villainous person came in and out of the story, yet I knew her kind well. That attests to your secure understanding of the elements of a great story. You show her and even the minor characters in a way each of them is memorable. Great job! You have finished it and congratulations on the Quill award. It shows many agree with me. It was a fabulous piece for me to read. I am a musician and you nailed the overall and specific talk and actions of my fellow musicians. It is especially important to dress to the expectations of the occasion. She did everything correctly, including the way she fixed her hair. The braided bun would have stood out as going the extra step to present herself in a positive light. One more run through with editing will help correct a few issues like, for example writing “I seen” instead of “I saw.” I can bet readers enjoyed this as much as I did. Your dialogue is real and not filled with any “fluff.” I think it is ready to be sent to publishers. I can even picture the cover! You have a winning style. Kudos to you! tracker
My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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