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Review #4773228
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My Trip to Australia Open in new Window. [E]
My advice on visiting Australia...Pictures and popnotes too!
by Maryann Author Icon
Review by Elfycia Lee ☮ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
This is a review brought to you by: *Lightning2* "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window. *Lightning2*, *DragonHead* "WDC Dragon Vale " Open in new Window. *DragonHead*, and *SuitHeart* "Positive Hearts Reviews Group" Open in new Window.*SuitHeart*
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A dragon reading a book by candle light

*Fishing* First Impression:

In the beginning, you've promised that Australians will be amused to "see Australia through an American's eyes." However, the article did not live up to its promise because it instead contained the general itinerary of your trip to Australia rather than how Australia was like from your point of view. I found that your description of the article is more accurate: "My advice on visiting Australia..." So, yeah. I think we may have the wrong expectation when we read this article.

Otherwise, yeah, it's pretty interesting to see what you've done with your family. After all, not every traveller will take the same path when they see the same country. I did wish that we could find out more about what you saw in more vivid descriptions. The most we've gotten from your trip was when you warmed chocolate in a mug that had a candle underneath it. That's pretty neat. Otherwise, other descriptions are kinda like "we did this, we did that. It was fun so we recommend it."

*Reading* Formatting

There are a few things to highlight though. Pop-notes did not work well for this article at all. The url links are inaccessible. My suggestion would be for you to use the {xlink:url}text{{/xlink} code instead.

There are also inconsistent line breaks throughout.

I love that you included pictures from your travel. They are pretty small though. Since this leans towards personal preference, yeah, it's really up to you. Just wanna let you know that you do have the option to enlarge the pictures if you wanted to. To enlarge picture with the code: {XXXL-photo:#IDNo} - or how many X-es you want for your picture until you can't do it no more. *Laugh* Takes a bit of experimenting.

*Xr* Grammar

I think there are issues with commas in this article that can be easily rectified. For example:

*Buttonb* Comma not needed *Right* The QVB, Queen Victoria Building , has many levels of great shopping, and a center clock inside of the mall puts on a little show on the hour.

*Buttonb* Comma needed as it interrupts the flow of sentence *Right* There are lots of restaurants and shopping places there. China Town, by the way, is a terrific place to buy Ugg boots.

Also, some words are one word and not two. For example:

*Buttonb* Seafood is one word. Small caps if not mentioning the name of the restaurant *Right* There is a great seafood restaurant at Darling Harbor

*Buttonb* Rainforest is one word. *Right* At the Blue Mountain park you will have a choice to buy tickets for a railroad car that takes you down into the rainforest

Punctuation issue/ typo *Right* It's another nice train trip to go to the featherdale zoo. Again, you will need to catch a short bus ride

Typo/ Grammar *Right* The ATMs' are probably your best bet.

Hyphen needed *Right* It's a 19-hour flight from LA to Sydney.

*Thought* Final Thoughts:

Your way of writing for travels is kinda like a brochure-style. I can feel its sincerity. I can feel you sharing from your heart to the people on WDC. I have been to Australia, not Sydney. So, as a reader, I'll definitely take you on when it comes to the advice. Seems like you are really good with holiday-planning too. I like how organised your thoughts are and I absolutely love your recommendations. I love what you said about the trinkets, reminders for us to bring cash, suggestions to circle around Australia from the harbour, the pictures of the animals are way awesome, and that Blue Mountain Park going through the rainforest. Every single spots that you have focused on seemed pretty iconic and your words are definitely pretty persuasive in a way that stir your readers curiosity enough to keep these places in mind when they do really go Down Under. Thank you for sharing.



The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


Thank you for sharing this with us and Write On! *Heart*


Elfycia Lee ☮ Author IconMail Icon

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