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Review #4776737
Viewing a review of:
 A Melody of a song Open in new Window. [E]
this tells how you can put a music beat together and make it into good music
by Mary Author Icon
Review by JACE Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
An Angel Army Review


Hi Mary Author Icon.

I'm JACE Author Icon, and I have the honor of reading and reviewing your offering "A Melody of a song" Open in new Window..

I invite your attention to the comments below. Please bear in mind these notes are from one on the outside looking in; ultimately only you can decide what's right for your story.

*Note1* Overall Impression. First, welcome to Writing.Com. I see you've been able to post a few of your stories, and that they've brought in a few reviews. Please remember that a review is just one person's opinion at that point in time. Only YOU have the option to apply what they say, or disregard that advice.

I found this piece on the site's Read & Review feature. That feature lists random items from members who are online now, or were so just recently.

You wrote a short piece about how one might turn a good beat into good music. As a reader, I had a hard time discerning what you were trying to say. I believe you need to include some punctuation, whether they be commas or periods.

Commas and periods are used as pauses for a reader. A comma is a short pause; a period is a longer pause. But they provide structure for a reader to take the time to consider just what you are trying to tell him.

I believe you have a good idea to sell to us. But your marketing is not there.


*Exclaim* Technical and Editorial Considerations. In this section I normally list those areas that relate specifically to the mechanics of your writing--punctuation, grammar, spelling, etc.

Please consider adding punctuation.

You have a good premise for your piece. But the presentation is pretty weak without more structure.

*Star* My Rating.  3.0.  I wish you all the best in your writing endeavors.

*Heart* Thank you for sharing this offering. Please accept these comments as offered in friendship and support. They are but my humble opinion.


Reviewed by
JACE

Non-Animated Angel Army Signature



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