%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #4782893 |
 | Invalid Item  [] |
| (4.0)  HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"   First Impressions: That was a very interesting concept. The little rabbit figurine could tell when the monster was near, and its smile changed to a frown to warn the people. The monster wasn’t really what it seemed though. Scary as it was, it had a job to do, and in the end, it did what it was supposed to do - kind of. The characters were interesting - the little girl looking for her mother with the help of the rabbit, and the main character who tried to help. And of course the aunt, who wasn’t what I had expected - not sure why; after the smiling rabbit, anything was possible. I had also thought the rabbit would be different. A real rabbit, or perhaps a toy, not a porcelain figurine. It seemed like an odd thing for the little girl to carry around.  Suggestions: I didn’t notice any errors but I do have one suggestion. I realise the contest is long over so you might not be interested, but if you are planning to edit this story, I would suggest looking at the character development. The contest had a very tight word limit and you likely had to leave out some details, but it seemed like the characters would have benefited from more background story. I didn’t feel like I really got to know them very well. That story started with action and the readers never got to find out what all the characters were doing in the woods to begin with. What exactly was the rabbit that was ‘helping’ them, and who or what was the aunt? Don’t get me wrong, it all made for a very intriguing tale, but I would have liked some explanation what was going on. I think it would be a great plot for a longer story.  Final Thoughts: The ending was tragic but it would have helped if the characters had shown some emotions to make it poignant. The story was very unique and I did enjoy the read, but I would have liked to understand the plot a bit better, and I think if you spent a bit of time to flesh out the tale, you would have a really good story.  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
|
|||
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
A Review from: "
You have not yet responded to this review.