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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4783068
Review #4783068
Viewing a review of:
 The Way Back Open in new Window. [E]
Clara fights to return
by Sumojo Author Icon
Review of The Way Back  Open in new Window.
Review by Tiggy Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
"Quotation Inspiration: Official ContestOpen in new Window.
*Shield1* Official Judge's Review *Shield1*



Hello Sumojo,

my name is Tiggy and I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Quotation Inspiration: Official ContestOpen in new Window.. Thanks for entering! Please bear in mind that my comments and suggestions are only my opinion. Other reviewers might see it differently.


*PenB* First Impression:

Quite an inspirational story! The beginning was heartbreaking and the way the main character’s daughter slams her door is quite poignant and explains their relationship perfectly. And it gets worse after that with Clara losing her grip and falling deeper into a vicious circle of alcohol and depression. She feels helpless and initially directs her anger at her daughter, who feels frustrated and angry in return. The turning point is when Clara can’t see a way forward in her dismal life anymore but instead, she finds a way back to the way things used to be. From the ending, I assume that it takes her years to recover, but in the end it is worth it because not only does she turn her own life around, she is also able to help others who are in a similar situation.


*PenG* Suggestions:

The story was well written but I noticed a few small errors:

Mum. Mum! Wake up, it’s time to go.’
You missed the opening speech marks here.

Four month after
“months”

In the evenings she took evening classes
The repetition of “evening” was quite noticeable here and I would suggest omitting the second one.

there have been many.[/size}
Just a stray ML code at the end there.


*PenP* Final Thoughts:

I liked how you used the prompt in this story. The main character learned from her failure and was able to put her experience to good use by helping others. Her journey through this, from slowly slipping into the addiction to hitting rock bottom, to working her way up again, was very emotional and you did a good job showing her struggle to the readers. To me, the message of the tale was that failure doesn’t define us, but how we deal with it and rise up again. A good story!




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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 10/30/2024 @ 1:47am EDT
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