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Review #4827288
Viewing a review of:
 
Wealth Untold Open in new Window. [E]
Something I just happened to write about wealth
by Someone Author Icon
Review of Wealth Untold  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Greetings, sir, and thank you for requesting a review *Smile*

For some reason I assumed you were a newbie when I saw this request... Then I remembered I'd fanned you a few days ago and saw you've been around since 2018, which is quite a bit longer than I have.

The first thing I thought of when I read this poem is... Don't feel like I'm trying to cheapen your work in any way; I respect Dan Reynolds as a songwriter, and for me to say this is a compliment. Your poem about the danger of wealth brought this to mind:

video ▼

So... I really appreciate the concepts and themes behind this poem. I think perhaps you should consider what you intended to convey with the repeated use of the word "bare." Did you by any chance mean to use "bear" instead? Also, when you say "A visionary to the wast future," I'm reminded of Sam Weller in Charles Dickens. Perhaps you meant to say "vast?" Or "wasted?" Also, where you say "For those who in need" towards the end, I think you've left off a word, "are in need." These little things pull one out of focus when reading because we wonder what it's supposed to mean and whether it's a mistake.

You have a nice flow here, sort of like a rap or a spoken word poem, with casual rhymes and repetitions that create a rhythm, bringing us down through the poem. The theme is strong, warning us of the temptations and responsibilities that come with great wealth, and the fact that we can't take it with us and we all become dust in the end. Perhaps a cover image would help this piece be more easily noticed among the drifts of poetry that flow through WdC. You can probably pull a good one from the stock collection they offer.

Perhaps, too, you might want to emphasize in the subtitle exactly what the theme is about, instead of wasting words expressing a certain carelessness about the product. Be loud and proud! How is your poem about wealth different from the next one? What makes your approach unique? Let us know before we read it!

Overall, this is an excellent poem with a memorable message, well formatted to stand out with bold font. I believe it could stand a bit of proofreading, which honestly I don't usually say about poetry because of artistic license and such. Other than that, it's great. You even have three suitable genres to help people find it when browsing.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 07/29/2025 @ 1:29pm EDT
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