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 Review #4845567 |
 | Sabine Pass  [18+] At times, the lighthouse at Sabine Pass turns itself on.  |
| (3.5)| Greetings, and welcome to writing.com  I discovered this on the Random Read and Review button. I have to say, it was honestly rather dull and plodding. I skipped to the end at first to see, and it made about as much sense by the time I arrived the usual way as it did when I skipped. I don't understand why Scott was "chosen" by the lighthouse. What happened to him? Is he really the next George Maine and he doesn't know it? Is Clara related to him? How does she know enough about him to be scared when he shows up? What's the point? Has this ever happened to anyone else? Are the fork tailed frigatebirds connected to the place? Are they simply the vultures of the sea, added for effect? And couldn't you have managed to make it any shorter? It was a pain to read. Perhaps it should have been written from the first person of Scott. I know this would have been more limiting, but that would have been a good thing, tightening up the narrative and giving us more reason to be invested in his character. By the time we see him presumably disappear at the end, we don't have any reason to mourn his loss. Is he married, divorced, a loner, an empty nester, a man with dark secrets? Perhaps when he was a reckless youth, he visited the abandoned lighthouse and vandalized it, drawing the ire of the caretaker and setting himself on a path of doom? A little thing like that would help draw together the story and give it a tidy theme. Right now it feels like a bunch of eerie ideas that aren't quite strung together well enough. The office bits are amusing and relatable, but ultimately add nothing to the story. Trent and Red are undeveloped and don't serve the narrative except as a way to get Scott over to the lighthouse. Even his complaints about their ineptitude feel pale and meaningless. Also, the timeline is sloppy. If this was ultimately a countdown to the end of Scott's life, we needed to see it start ticking from the beginning of the story. The way it is now, we have no idea what day or year it is when we see the dates of birth and death listed on the mysterious letter. It's only afterward that we realize the timeline is counting down, and even then it's still not very clearcut as we see Scott slipping in and out of different situations in a sort of dreamish fugue. I liked the descriptions; you have a good way of painting clear and vivid pictures. It was an interesting premise, certainly, and something I'll be thinking about for the rest of the day. Best of luck on the contest. I hope I've been of some help for you. Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing     My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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