 Romance/Love: July 01, 2020 Issue [#10248] |
This week: When to Move in Together Edited by: Dawn Embers  
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Romance/Love Newsletter by Dawn
Looking into a milestone in romance considering when the characters might move into the same place together with a few particular options existing if the moment happens during the story. |
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There are many milestones a couple can come across in a story. Lately, I've been watching shows where people are trying to find a home to buy and something I've noticed with some of the couples on the shows is the differences in approach to a particular romance milestone. That is when they decide to move in together during the relationship. Some people are crazy enough to try and find a new home at the same time as planning or weeks before their wedding, which makes for some tension and concern. That aspect aside, there are a few different scenarios that come out in regard to the couple as to when they make the move together and it's something we can consider for fictional couples too.
Before the I Do
Some couples move in together before making the move to husband and wife (husband/husband, wife/wife or any other configuration). In fact, there are a number of them who may not even be thinking of marriage when they decide it is time to make that step to find a home. Certain couples will be considering making the change in title or level of commitment later on down the road and others may not have any interest in moving the relationship beyond the current status with just a change of location or daily closeness. Someone might want to use the new home as testing grounds, to make sure they continue to flourish together as a relationship before taking any other steps. And at least one made the big move, the proposal, once they became owners of the new house, using the big moment to make things even grander. For fiction, the tales inspired by reality can work as well. In the romance the couple could end up living together for various reasons before having the legal connection or commitment. Living situations can bring people into a relationship or they could have some struggles that relate to how they settle in the same home space before reaching other important milestones in the romance.
Around the Big Day
Then there is the time around the big day or whatever form of finalizing commitment used within the world/story. I've seen a couple of different configuration when it comes in particular to couples who are house hunting and getting married around the same time. Some want in the house before the big ceremony but others have very specific time frames for right after ceremony and/or honeymoon. And there is also the option to mix where one is going to move into the house before the big day and the other will join them after, once things are official. The move in right after timeline can be a struggle when it's around a house that is getting renovated as delays can create problems with some delays making it a challenge for the couple to have a place to live once they reach that particular deadline. In fiction there can be similar routes, in particular if the plot of the story does involve that level of commitment and questions of when they start dwelling in the same space together during those times.
Any Time After
And after those, well then you get the rest. Though many end up living together once they are married it's different in the type of home where they live. Some are renting or living in much smaller arrangements than they would like so go on the house hunt long after reaching the final stage of commitment. Others have to live with family or friends so they might live together but they aren't alone in the housing situations. Unusual could be the use within a story where the couple are married or whatever is similar if it's a speculative fiction type of romance but they don't live together. What kind of reason would a couple have to live in different locations? I'm sure many writers could come up with some creative scenarios for a romance story of couple who are committed but aren't able to live in the same house. That could make for an interesting romance with the right conflict and characters involved.
So there you have it, some options when it comes to how characters co-habitat that can be used in a romance story. It's one of many milestones and one that can be central within a story and conflict or it can even be a minor note. It all depends on how you write the tale. Look into your couple, the romance, their commitment and whether or not they will live together. Then have some fun and write a romance.
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Do your characters move in together during the story or after?
Last month, I went minimal with my romance newsletter. With the rough times, the struggles many were facing in the world, I didn't want to distract from other important issues. It also was the start of pride so I kept the words simple to a focus on love for everyone. Here is a comment sent in response:
Comment by Quick-Quill 
Love comes in many forms. I wish you would have expanded your admonition. Some say love is fighting back. Some say love with compassion and empathy. I hate to say I’ve been watching the worst expressions of what some call love. Love is showing it not shouting it, or Telling it. Remember that when you write
- Thanks for the comment. With all of the strife in the US at the beginning of June, I wanted to keep things to the simple point that we all need love. For writing, you are write that it needs to be shown (and for people too who are searching for love). It takes more than words and hopefully people can put those positive actions into the world.
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