 Comedy: January 05, 2022 Issue [#11155] |
This week: Winter Wonderland Edited by: Robert Waltz  
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A lot of people like snow. I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water.
― Carl Reiner
The light made the snowballs look yellow. Or at least I hoped that was the cause.
― Gary D. Schmidt
The more I see, the less I know, the more I'd like to let it go.
― Red Hot Chili Peppers |
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If you believe all the hype (I don't), snow before the winter holidays is beautiful, magical, sparkling, fairytale, gossamer ephemeral whatever bleh.
Then New Year's Day happens, and with it, two important events:
1) You fail at all your New Year's Resolutions, and
2) Snow transforms from Fantasyland to Post-Apocalyptic Dystopia.
(With apologies to my friends south of the Tropic of Cancer, this one's going to be very Northern Hemisphere, specifically Temperate Zone Northern Hemisphere.)
Of course, to me, it's always a dystopia, because I'm a cynical old curmudgeon who hates shoveling anything, but bear with me here.
It snows at least once a winter where I live, usually more, but people tend to forget how to deal with snow between seasons. Sometimes, I think they forget the concept of snow, even though it's shoved down our throats every holiday season, and that's before the serious winter weather normally arrives. The first snow of the season sees us totally unprepared.
The second snow of the season is even worse, because now people (mostly I'm talking about drivers here) consider it old hat so instead of becoming dangerous by being too careful, they become dangerous by taking more chances. Somehow, this makes the second bout far more hazardous than the first.
By the time the third snowfall arrives, assuming it does, we're all quite sick of the whole ordeal. But by that time, the damage is done.
People who live in colder climates, with more snow, tend to get used to it.
But I don't think we ever will. |
Stuck inside because of five-foot drifts? Enjoy some comedy.
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Last time, in "2021" , I closed out last year a bit early (could you blame me for wanting to get it over with?)
Sumojo  : That was interesting. The way you went from month to month and asking was it good or bad? I tried it myself to come up with an answer to how 2021 shaped up. On the whole it wasn’t the worst year ever but there were certainly some curve balls thrown into the mix. But you know Robert there’s no such thing as a perfect year. It’s just life.
Of course. Besides, if the year didn't suck, I wouldn't have had as much Comedy Newsletter editorial material.
Prosperous Snow celebrating  : Robert, I had cataract surgery on both eyes this year. I found it interesting, and I'm not going to describe it. My distant vision has improved, and I'm getting reading glass because the fonts in the hardcover and paperback books are still too small and I'm tired of reading them with a magnifying glass.
Glad it worked out for you! I seem to be recovering nicely, myself. The surgery for me was like the tunnel scene from Willy Wonka, though: scary, dark, and ominous (especially when I saw it the first time at 5 years of age), but over with quickly.
QueenNormaJean maybesnow?!  : Cataract surgery was a non-event for me. The angst before was worse than the surgery. I liked the light show. Reminded me of 2001 A Space Odyssey - that LSD trip at the end.
Apparently we have very different taste in movies. Okay, no, I'm kidding; I like 2001 also and I know what you're talking about, but still... Wonka, not Kubrick. Because Kubrick also directed A Clockwork Orange, which is more like my actual experience, you know, the part at the end where they wedge Alex's eyes open so he can't blink or stop looking...
So that's it for me for January - see you on Groundhog Day! Until then,
LAUGH ON!!!
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