 For Authors: March 23, 2022 Issue [#11274] |
This week: Active-Passive Voice Show Don't Tell Edited by: Vivian  
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Grabbing a reader's attention and keeping it is one of the main goals of a writer. Using active voice rather than passive (which is showing not telling) is necessary to meet that and other goals in writing.
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Active/Passive Voice
(“Show,” don’t “Tell”)
Active voice means that a sentence has a subject that does the action of the verb (the subject does the acting). Passive voice means that a subject is a recipient of a verb’s action (usually, something else does something to the subject). We learned that passive voice is weak and incorrect, but it isn’t that simple. When used correctly and seldom, passive voice works and is needed – sometimes.
Passive voice tells (readers do not see what happened or happens), while active voice shows (readers see or hear what happened or happens).
Verbs that signal passive voice (but they are not the only verbs that can cause “telling”): All forms of the verb “to be,” whether used as main or helping verb: is, am, are, was, were, be, being, been. All forms of the verb “to have” when used as helping verb: has, have, had
Active voice uses action verbs, and the subject often acts on an object. The sentence often, but not always, has a subject, verb, object.
Examples of action verbs, some past tense, some present tense : ran, think, jump, discussed, sit, cried, laugh, watch, listened, touched, felt, sleep, kicked, cook, washed – any verb that shows mental or physical action.
Active voice “shows,” lets the reader see what happened:
The boy hid behind the bushes as his sister and her boyfriend sat on the porch swing and kissed. He covered his mouth with a hand to stifle laughter.
Passive voice “tells” the reader what happened. Telling involves more than passive voice, but we will discuss that more later.
The boy had hidden behind the bushes watching his sister and her boyfriend on the porch swing. He tried not to laugh.
Some verbs can be both active and passive voice. One instance, if the verb was or were can replace a verb that can be active and the sentence make sense, then that verb is passive voice.
Examples: Mary felt apprehensive.
Tom felt Mary’s apprehension.
Mary was apprehensive.
(makes sense and means about the same, so felt is passive voice in that sentence)
Tom was Mary’s apprehension. (doesn’t make sense and
certainly not the same, so felt is active voice in that sentence)
However, most verbs can be used to portray passive voice. The main thing to remember is passive voice “tells”; active voice “shows.”
Sentence examples:
The boy had walked to school. The boy is walking to school
The boy walked to school. The boy walks to school.
The ball was hit by the bat. The ball was hit.
The bat hit the ball. Something hit the ball.
Mary is writing her short story with pen and paper before she is typing it on her computer.
Mary wrote her short story with pen and paper before she typed it on her computer.
The angry clouds piled high on the horizon while we had sailed across the lake. When the wind had changed direction, we were working hard to reach the other shore. (note – not only passive voice but also vague telling)
The angry clouds piled high on the horizon as we sailed across the lake. When the wind changed directions, we rowed against both wind and current, our muscles aching with the effort to reach the other shore.
Telling is lazy writing. Yes, occasionally, we need passive voice, need to tell, but we should do so seldom.
How many of us have heard or read never to use any adverbs, any adjectives, or any passive voice? Wrong, all have their places in our writing, but all should we use seldom. Moderation, extreme moderation. We want to avoid becoming lazy writers, and we need to write so that the story moves forward while the reader can “see” what happened.
Now, in order to answer a question concerning the use of have, had, has as helping verb denoting perfect tense, we need to realize that tense and voice differ. Tense has to do with time. Voice has to do with showing or telling. At times, we need to show a difference in time by using have, has or had as helping verb, known as perfect tense – past perfect, present perfect, and future perfect. Usually, though, rewriting can avoid passive voice.
Examples:
The boy had run to the park every day but Sunday. (means he ran only one week in the past)
The boy runs to the park every day but Sunday. (means he runs every week)
The boy was running to the park every day but Sunday. (passive voice)
The boy ran to the park every day but Sunday. (active voice)
I don’t want to get into perfect tenses any deeper at this time. However, know that occasionally, the use of perfect tense (haven, had, has as helping verbs) may be used.
Earlier I mentioned that writers can “tell” even using action verbs. Let’s quickly address that problem.
An example: Mary watched anxiously. (Watched is an action verb, but it “tells” us, doesn’t “show” us anything.)
Mary stared out the window. She bit her bottom lip and twisted her fingers together. “Why isn’t he here?” she muttered. (Now, the reader can “see” the anxiety.)
That explanation is short, but I hope you can “see” the difference.
Sometimes showing does use more words than telling, but showing makes the plot, the characters live for the reader. The more the reader can “see,” “hear,” and “feel” what happened or happens, the better.
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Words from Our Readers
The newsletter from four weeks ago discussed writing conferences.
Quick-Quill 
I just got this and I'm thinking it might be worth it. I wanted to go somewhere.
https://www.writersonlineworkshops.com/courses/wdu-mystery-and-thriller-virtual-...
Thanks for sharing the link. I think I will look into this virtual conference. Writers' Digest is usually a good choice.
SSpark 
Hi, Viv!
I'm interested in attending a writer's conference, but I want to go to the right one. I know I can google to find some, but how will I know which ones are solid? There's plenty of commercialized hype in the google sphere!
ss
I know of two I can highly recommend: the OWFI conference held the first of May yearly (http://owfi.org ) and WriterCon (http://writercon.com} run by William Burnhardt, the bestselling author and writing expert. For others, I would look for recommendations.
Elfin Dragon-finally published 
I got to attend a writer's conference several years ago and loved it so much. It was one where they had several different lessons by authors, editors, illustrators, artists, and animators. The wealth of information was astounding. I also got to meet and talk with on of my favorite authors. (Peter S. Beagle)
I discovered that I learn at least one new thing every conference I attend. However, I now usually work or speak at the conferences I attend.
Thank you for joining me for this issue of For Authors. Again, if their is a topic you would like for me to address, let me know.
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