This week: Show, don't tell. Edited by: Lilli 𧿠â  
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| We've all been told, at some point, to 'show, don't tell' your readers what's happening or how a character is feeling, what they're doing, etc. This week we will take a look at some examples that may be useful in your love/romance stories. |
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For the purpose of this newsletter, let's visit 'show, donât tell' from a â hopefully â different perspective than youâve seen it before.
Letâs focus on one specific point: how to identify the difference between showing and telling.
So many times we edit then re-edit our work, trying to change those telling sentences into show, yet often we miss some or make the mistake of thinking weâve shown when we havenât.
First, letâs take a look at how to incorporate show, donât tell into our writing.
 Use dialogue and character interaction to show how your characters feel and interact with one another
Use sensory imagery â sound, smell, sight â to immerse the reader into your characterâs world
Be descriptive. Use specifics. Good showing evokes images and emotions without telling the reader what to see, think or feel. Use strong verbs, descriptive nouns, and clear adjectives. For example with a car, mention the make or model and the condition of the car, ie, a beat-up blue sedan or beat-up hunk of blue metal on wheels. Or with a cat, provide visuals like sleek tabby or mangy ginger.
Use a deep point of view â step into your character and write through their eyes and their experiences.
Use metaphors â try to avoid clichĂ©, but if this isnât an option, personalise that clichĂ© by applying a little spin or tweak.
But with all this power, this knowledge comes great responsibility. Yes, show, donât tell - but donât overwrite. Donât over-complicate and donât lose your reader with big words and convoluted prose. These will only serve to slow the pace and confuse the reader.
Here are some ways to incorporate 'showing':
Speech tags
These include expressions such as - he thought, he felt, he was, he saw, he watched, he wondered.
I know these are great ways of linking characters to dialogue, but if you wish to cut out as much telling as possible, avoid these at all costs. As an alternative, see if you can give a better sense of your characterâs state of mind or movement by using action tags.
Example:
Telling: âHow can I be a better man?â he wondered.
As an alternative, italicize the dialogue to show this as an internal thought for your point of view character. You can do this for many of the standard speech tags such as âhe saidâ, âhe thoughtâ, 'he wonderedâ, etc.
Showing: How can I be a better man? He looked to the sky as if somehow the answer would miraculously appear.
âWasâ or âisâ followed by an adjective
Example:
Telling: The cat is smelly; the house was creepy.
Instead of this sentence structure, add specifics to give the reader a more visual and visceral experience.
Showing: The old tabby reeked of stale tuna and neglect; the door screeched on rusted hinges, wind howling through eaves caked with a decadeâs cobwebs and dust.
Emotional qualifiers
Example: happily, angrily, sadly
Telling: She happily said âI do.â
Showing: Her heart danced, her lips curving into a heady, floating-in-the-clouds smile. âI do.â
Showing: Dust motes danced at the lightâs edge like tiny stars, the priestâs voice booming, deep with the gravel of an unsealed road. Derekâs fingers wrapped around hers, his palm warm, his grasp comforting. Home. His hand trembled. Or was it hers?
âDo you take this man . . .â
The words skipped across her mind and her heart stuttered. Their future sparkled before her, as bright as the ring he slipped onto her finger. She met his gaze, a blue sheâd loved since the first moment sheâd drowned in its depths.
Then she nodded, surer than sheâd ever been.
âI do.â
Telling: âOut of my way,â said Aaron angrily.
Showing: âOut of my way,â snapped Aaron.
Showing: âOut of my way.â Aaron shoved her aside, his dark gaze devoid of the love they once shared.
And that's a wrap for this week's newsletter!
I hope this glimpse â along with the examples â has clarified what can sometimes be a sticky skill to get right.
Thanks to those who read and comment! |
| | | Mariana (GC)
A Story about lust, love, family, and care... revenge, torment, concern, and sacrifice.
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Romance/Love: May 04, 2022 Issue [#11336]
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