 Comedy: July 05, 2006 Issue [#1139] |
  Comedy
This week: Edited by: Beyond the Cloud9  
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Comedy a.k.a. funny stuff.
Whatever your writing style or reading preference, comedy finds its way into everyone’s life in some form. Take time to look around and see the humor in life. Learn to love and laugh at yourself, and laugh with others.
This newsletter is designed to give you tips and entertainment, but mostly to put a smile on your face! |
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Restaraunt Etiquette for Toddlers by Zoe Elise
While dining out, it is important to keep the adults entertained. Waving hello to waiters and waitresses, blowing kisses, smiling and laughing are all perfectly acceptable. In the event of boredom, it is perfectly acceptable to scream loudly and watch the adults' faces contort.
While waiting for the food, is it okay to snack on the crayons provided. If they do not taste good, throw them on the floor and watch to see if anyone stumbles on them.
Sippy cups are a waste of time when dining out. Insist on drinking the adults drink, from their glass, of course.
If you are handed your sippy cup, throw it down in disgust.
If you drink two glasses of milk before your meal arrives and your belly gets full, it is okay, because then you can take your meal home with you.
While eating your meal, mutilate it with your fingers and hands as much as possible. Go ahead and poke holes in your grilled cheese sandwich or flip the macaroni and cheese off the spoon. No one will mind this because they live to please you.
Upon completion of your meal, pick up the plate and dump the remainder of food onto the table. Then attempt to throw the plate on the floor. This signifies that you are indeed finished eating.
After the adults clean up, insist on having more food.
Do try at least one bite of everyone else's food at the table. If it isn't good, it is okay to take it out of your mouth and give it back.
Upon leaving the restaraunt, smile and wave goodbye to everyone and watch them goo over how cute you are.
If you will follow these simple rules, dining out will be a fun experience.
Thank you for letting me write for you today,
Zoe Elise
(daughter of Beyond the Cloud9 )
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  Questions & Comments
billwilcox writes:
I just love your sense of humor. We had four kids one right after the other. It seemed liked my dear wife would get pregnant if we accidently bumbed into each other in the hallway. *sigh* I didn't sleep for seven years...
Melissa is fashionably late!  writes:
 I misplace things and find them in my hand all of the time. It must be a Mommy thing!
Vivian  writes:
Ahhh, Sherri Q, how well I understand trying to find something you're holding all the time. As the poem you highlighted says, I often have to search to find my lost memory. Ish. ~~ Viv
Nighala a.k.a. Doxie Do-Right writes:
Sherri Q,
Great newsletter!!! If you ever need to find any of the pounds you lost, let me know, I think I've got them.
Nighala
I don't think I'll be wanting those back, but thanks anyway!
Breezy-E ~ In College writes:
Sounds like my mom. She goes looking for her glasses, only to discover they were on the top of her head the whole time.
Breezy-E
Well at least I'm not alone out there. 
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