 Comedy: December 07, 2022 Issue [#11691] |
This week: The Joy of Nothing Edited by: Robert Waltz  
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It's always consoling to know that today's Christmas gifts are tomorrow's garage sales.
—Milton Berle
I don’t know what to say, except it’s Christmas, and we’re all in misery.
—Ellen Griswold
Let's be naughty and save Santa the trip.
—Gary Allan |
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Nothing makes me happy in December.
None of the usual December activities do it for me. I see people stringing up lights, and if that makes them happy, great; to me, it's too much work for a temporary display.
I despise shopping. Going out to stores that are crowded and blasting inane music just triggers my rage, triply so if it happens to be (shudder) sn*wing.
The very idea of dressing my car up to look like a reindeer repels me.
Traveling? Forget it. No matter how pleasant the destination, the journey is hell.
I never was a big fan of trees and trimmings, and that just got reinforced as I just found out that a guy I knew in high school keeled over and died while decorating a tree in his house. Why take the chance?
As for cooking, well, I do that anyway. I rarely do seasonal-themed dishes, though.
I have too much stuff already to actually enjoy receiving gifts, and trying to decide what to buy for the few people close to me is stressful (I do it anyway—online, of course).
I know other people derive some sort of pleasure from all of the above, and that's fine; I'm not knocking it if it works for you. And yet, all I hear about is how stressed out people get in December, only to finally relax for one day late in the month. I suppose it's a bit like banging your head against the wall because it feels so good when you quit.
Me? I'd rather skip the banging my head against the wall part and go straight to the stopping part.
Really, it's best for me if I simply don't acknowledge that anything's any different. Other than that it's cold and dark and all I want to do is sleep until March.
So every December, I don't do anything out of the ordinary. When it comes to seasonal activities, I do nothing.
And that makes me happy. |
Some December laughs, seasonal or not:
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Last time, in "That Old Standard" , I complained about clock changes.
Aiva Raine  : Absolutely loved the quote by Robertson Davies that you included. I highly agree. Also- I agree with you- enough of the DST BS. Pick a time and stick with it. I look forward to the day when I no longer have to follow a time schedule, although I must confess- currently my work has a much more flexible schedule than I've had in the past and no more commuting. Thanks for the chuckles.
Thanks! Yeah, work from home has been a boon to a lot of people, though not middle managers. But who cares about them?
GeminiGem🐾  : If you live with dogs, you automatically hate the twice yearly time changes. Dogs have internal clocks that are set by routine. The quick shift of an hour makes them edgy. They are sure they will starve to death or become sleep deprived if their routines are upset and they aren't shy in letting you know their displeasure. It takes a couple of weeks to adjust, just to do it all over again in the spring.
Fortunately, I live with cats. Oh, wait, they don't like clock changes either.
So that's it for me for December. See you next year! Until then,
LAUGH ON!!!
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