 Comedy: October 25, 2023 Issue [#12232] |
This week: Creepies & Spookies Toads~Tots~Trouble! Edited by: Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥmas  
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Moms know better than anyone about kids' fascination with wild tiny toads and other short-lived pets. They also know how and when to say NO! |
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Hello folks! It is I, WebWitch, your local October-loving Halloween-Witch.
I absolutely love this time of year as I have for decades while my children were growing up. Having sewing skills and I could whip together a scary vampire costume, witch, grim reaper, deranged pumpkin or zombie even a twin stroller decorated as a hearse carrying two vampires toddlers, so the kids could enjoy the festivities of being walked around the town to fill huge Halloween bags to the heaviest. But then, I was usually carrying the full bags and at times a kid or two on my hips. In other words, I exercised sufficiently to raid the candy bags on Halloween night! Moms do that sort of stuff to make memorable, albeit scary at times, childhood memories for the family scrapbook.
Other things moms survive ...
One summer my young daughters found the cutest baby toad and wanted to give it a "forever" home. Of course it would be its forever home since that little creature would not thrive long in captivity. I told the kids it has to be fed stuff it likes and always have water close by in its shelter. They tried several things to see if those would appeal to the toad's taste buds. They even said their friend's mom fed a toad raw ground beef.  Okay, so I bit. I went to the corner store and bought a handful of ground beef to dole out to a toad. After two days, other insects got in and ate on the beef while the toad just stared. By the third day that toad went on to greener pastures in the sky.I knew that toad was a goner but didn't want to break their "maternal" hearts. I told them the toad was in a brief coma due to its yearning to be free, and asked the kids to release it into the bushes so it may have a chance to revive and survive. After all, it wouldn't make a good pet for them if it did nothing but sleep. They bought the whole comatose story believing the joy of life still lingered if only the toad was set free. Yay to moms for their quick thinking and sparing the children at tender ages from the guilt of toad-kill.
Kindergarten. Got to love it! Thanks to loving teachers who decide having a classroom table devoted to the caring and feeding of goldfish is wonderful life experience for the little cherubs. Everyday the students learned how to nurture their own fish which is identified with each student's name taped to the glass jar. The last day of school came and the teacher's job ended but the kids still had a mouth to feed and the need to get a fishbowl with fancy fish-toys and hideaways once at home. Well as goldfish go, little Goldie enjoyed a few more weeks of luxury living before going belly up. The discovery was made by their oldest sister who was several years their elder. Breaking the news by a parent is tough enough. Getting the snarky "You killed Goldie" from you big sister -- unbearable! Open the spigots the tears flowed hard. The family gathered together by the toilet bowl to send Goldie off to her watery grave. RIP Goldie!
Let's go to the beach!
We were living in California at the time and loved to take trips to San Fransisco on as many good weather Sunday's we could get. The kids loved being on one of the local beaches for hours of fun. They always had their pails and shovels and did a lot of digging and collecting of shells and rocks to bring home. Several days following that fun day, we were in the car heading to the store when their dad and I got a strong whiff of something most definitely foul! We pull over in a parking lot, Dad opens the trunk area of the car to find a little red beach pale that had some unoccupied shells as well as a starfish that was alive when liberated from the beach. Yup, dead, dead, dead and smelly.
"But Mom! Leslie said you can keep a starfish instead of buying one in a beach store."
"Yes, Web-Daughter, but did she also tell you it has to be on a dry surface and cure in lots of sunshine? The trunk area of the 100 degree internal car temperature is not that place."
Moms also know baking soda absorbs odor, thus our car carried an open box of that mighty odor eater until it was all clear.
As the years went on, the children were old enough to understand not all cute little critters enjoy being pets. Yet, one daughter still wanted a more exotic critter as a pet.
"Iguana, mom?" ..."NO!"
Tarantula? ... "NO!"
Snake? ... "NO!"
That daughter, daughter number two, is now all grown up and married. She and her hubby are proud owners of ferrets. I guess that's not too unusual considering they could have opted for skunks or tarantulas.
By the way, she, like her mom, loves Halloween! We do lots of decorating and wearing costumes. Her all time favorite costume? Wednesday Addams.
That's all the creepy, crawly stuff this witch wrote for this Spooktober Comedy Newsletter. 
Until next time--Crawl on!  
Happy Halloween!
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In reply to my question in my last Comedy Newsletter, "Comedy Newsletter (September 27, 2023)"
Have you experienced a series of unfortunate events? Did you laugh when it all unfolded?
Santeven Quokklaus 
I have. In fact... here it is. At the time it was humiliating.
Now it is hilarious.
"1988 - First Timing"
For more stupid things that happened to me in the ring, try:
"1988 - First Timing"
elephantsealer
My experience of a "series of unfortunate events" was to feel embarrassed, afterwasrds I just laughed my head off..... and promised to behave properly....
Elisa: Snowman Stik 
A series of unfortunate events is a great phrase to describe my attempts to get back to the US after my recent trip to Europe. And to think it all got started when one of the baggage handlers ended up ramming one of the plane's cargo doors with the baggage cart.
Thank you for your feedback, folks!
See you next month.
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