 Comedy: November 22, 2023 Issue [#12285] |
This week: The Long and Smokey Road Edited by: Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥ  
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After enjoying Halloween in New England it was time to pack up and prepare for the move South. When did people forget how to drive? Why are the only hotels on the way that are not pet friendly, always full? It's all part of the joy of long distance travel!  |
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Hello folks! This is WebWitch reporting in from the Southern Command Center in sunny Florida!
Traveling, as usual, has been interesting and at times frightening, weird, humorous and always trying and tiring. As I sit hear this afternoon after getting home late in the evening, I have my feet up and my air conditioner, down. Oh, I don’t mean down like I put the temperature down. I mean down as it isn’t making my air cooler. I hate when that happens, but after a long rainy summer in the tropics, the drain seems to get clogged from water and grass cuttings and blower blowings getting stuck so it can’t properly drain. That would be the easiest and cheapest issue it could be. But then you know me … it’s never the quick and easy fix.
I got to talk to my handyman, whom I’ve tried to avoid contacting so I don’t jinx his recovery from brain surgery and heart surgery. Thankfully he still retained his courage. I was beginning to think I was watching some deconstructed Wizard of Oz. He said he’ll be back to work in a couple weeks.  I guess he wants my home to finish him off. Again I warned him of the danger he is in if he continues working for me. Then I caught myself, laughed it off and said, “just joking” because I need the jobs he started completed so I can have my home back sans saws, a carpenter's measuring and cutting table, drills, cans of epoxy, step ladders, 5 gallon buckets of who knows what, but I’m not opening them. Problem is, he was laughing so hard before hanging up the phone, I started to worry about his poor heart. He told me they placed a zipper on his chest because his heart could go berserk if he coughed or sneezed too hard.  I asked if that applies to laughing, because if so, I may have just set off another attack.  I wonder if an attack happens when he's back to work at my place if I should open that zipper and give the old pump a big squeeze to get it working right again. I mean how hard can it be? I'll think on that one a little more. Perhaps I should ask Alexa.
Thanksgiving is This Thursday. So, still fatigued from the long trip, I had to get to the store and grab a turkey. I'll figure out what to use as a holiday table at another time. It appears my current table is filled with various can goods, pots, pans and glasses that were previously in my cupboards before my handyman asked me to empty it all out so he can continue ripping out old doors made of the cheapest stuff that has seen it's heyday in 1982. All that stuff was emptied before I went back on the road following the two cataract surgeries in June.
When I got back to my Florida home, I wondered where I placed all my everyday plates, cutlery and serving dishes packed away five months ago when I headed back to New England. I did find a bin with my better china for the holidays. What difference does that make? Not a whole heck of a lot! The condition my living/dining room and kitchen are in is beyond use for entertaining any guests for Thanksgiving. A very small turkey and a coffee table for our plates of food will have to do. Hey, at least it's in the Florida room where we can watch the birds fishing on the lake's shore. Occasionally we'll see an Osprey dive and grab its lunch.
None of these obstructions to my usual everyday use of living space will keep me down, though. I've pulled my Christmas tree out of the closet. That I had no problem finding. I love decorating it up with lit-up maple leaves and autumn trimmings with a metallic turkey on the top in celebration of Thanksgiving. Once Thanksgiving has been given its true respect as a holiday, I'll remove the autumn decorations and the turkey from the tree and start decorating it for Christmas.
It won't be in its usual spot since the flooring isn't finished in the dining-living room area, but it will have a lake front view to show off its glitter and shine in the Florida room!
Looking forward always makes the stress of the trip down seem so distant. Well, except for the fact that we drove though a smokey valley that was the result of a wildfire in Shenandoah area. It was such heavy smoke and an allergy booster and it lasted for over an hour of traveling. Finally leaving the valley and climbing the foothills gave the air quality some breathing relief.
Getting into Florida and having several hours more to go, the skies burst forth with torrential rains and thunder and lightning, and washout visibility. Fun stuff like that. Always an adventure, though! Plus, missing an upcoming rest area and reading the sign as you pass by stating the next rest stop is 77 miles away is never a fun thing.
Those 77 miles were much longer due to the slower traffic and road conditions from some tropical outburst. Then, finally, the sign of hope. "Rest Area 2 Miles." I never knew how far two miles could be. I know it isn't normally 20 minutes, is it? 
However, we made it home safely in the dark of night with luggage thrown wherever to await unpacking for the next day. Point of possible interest, Grey Goose helps to relieve the travel woes.
Yes, folks, always an adventure. But hey, it's the holidays and we all have some little glitch on the road to merry.
That's all she hiccoughed out for this edition of the Comedy Newsletter!
Until next time--laugh hard, laugh often!
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving! 
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Elfin Dragon-finally published 
How is it that some of us women just love the creepy crawly critters? Growing up my brother and I would go hunting for tree frogs on weekends. (you know, those little tiny things with masks) Wherever there was a big toad to be found, I was sure to find it and pick it up, ready and willing to show it to all my (not too eager) friends. I was the first to handle any critter my guy friends brought along with them. (my girl friends were always hanging back)
Is it any wonder when I grew up I purchased a boa constrictor for a pet? I had her for 7 wonderful years. She came with me to many adventures as a volunteered at a reptile shelter.
Wow!!! That is so cool!!! Indeed an unusual pet. Probably kept unwanted visitors away from your home, too 
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See you next month, folks!
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