 Comedy: January 17, 2024 Issue [#12367] |
This week: Where did my winter's summer go? Edited by: Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥmas  
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I love being a snowbird. I get the best of both worlds. New England milder summers and Florida winters at the beach and by the pool.
Except ... |
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Hello from the windy, chilly, rainy, non-beach weather of supposed sunny South Florida. We Northerners who are snowbirds pay to stay and play in the South-land. We want our winters to be summer. Yes, that’s right, Summers are brief up North so I look forward to the extended summer known as winter in Florida. I can’t even imagine how upset Northerners are who spend a week or two of vacation time coming to Florida, expecting to relax on the beach and then head back North flashing an envious tan in front of those pale friends and relatives. They certainly got the shaft this past holiday season!
I guess it’s been a crazy weather year everywhere it seems. And don’t even try to talk to me about climate change, global warming, global cooling – it’s weather, it happens. Massachusetts had an easy winter last year, hardly any snow storms. They got hit recently with snow footage. Okay, that’s the kind of weather I would expect in New England. But always when I get South, there’s lots of sunshine and free vitamin D to soak up with the rays. Not this season. Nope, the amount of cloudy, stormy days over sunny days has been dominant.
Then, just when I’d given up all hope of soaking up the rays and getting my Florida back, the temperatures rose and the sun blazed through the former space covered by clouds. I headed to the pool and noticed nobody there. Where could they be? It’s hot and sunny! On closer inspection approaching the gate to the pool I saw the dreaded sign: “Closed for heater replacement and maintenance.”
Excuse me? This couldn’t have been done on the cloudy, chillier days? Bad timing or a bad joke? It’s just plain cruel! I know, I know, all of you living in the colder regions are yelling at this newsletter and saying, “Cry more, Web witch! How dare you complain when even on the chillier days the temperature only dropped to the 50’s at night. C’mon, cry again!!!”  Okay, gee, sorry, I didn’t mean to rock the ‘Honeybell oranges are here,” cart.  Those are delicious!
All of everything aside. One day of sunshine with a juicy orange and the soothing sound of waves crashing on the shore while pelicans fly over, makes it easy to forget these days of darkness I’ve had to experience for a couple weeks. 
I know what you’re thinking, “I hope one of those huge pelicans drops one from above right over your juicy Honeybell orange!”
Sorry folks. I deserved that. Maybe I’ll be in a much better mood next month after getting my money’s worth of sunny, seaside vitamin D saturation while working on my tan.
This is a wrap for this rant about the weather. See you next month when I’m tanner and my mood is sunnier. 
Until next time—laugh hard, laugh often!
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Submitted item: 
| |  | You See Me (E)
Being in a small town and not finding anyone who sees you for who you are.
#2310558 by Bee Baumann  |
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Bee Baumann
Thank you for this Xmas story, which is brilliant. I will keep my eye out for your newsletter now. I have formed a group for comedy, "Humor Writers Patch" .
Hello Bee! Welcome to WDC. Thank you for your feedback. I'm so pleased you enjoyed the December Newsletter. Thank you for sharing your group for comedy, and the story you posted. Humorous indeed! 
A couple responses to last month's question:
I'll get right to the point. Do you like those holiday blow-up yard decorations?
SAD Holiday Potato
Sometimes yes sometimes no. My next door neighbor put up one in front of their house that has long, draggled hair. Inside it is a light that makes the whole thing have an eerie blue glow when fully inflated.
SandraLynnSprinkles Slingin' 
They have infiltrated my Canadian village. My favourite outdoor, festive decoration remains coloured lights, a rainbow.
Wordsmitty ✍️ 
I've seen some yard decorations that I'd like to blow up.
oldgreywolf on wheels 
No.
I wonder how long it took Madison Avenue to come up with their propaganda, I mean, marketing ploy, to get them so widespread.
ahunkahunkaburninlove
When I worked for the Town of Maiden riding the leaf truck, I saw a huge yard decoration with the letters J-O-Y. The J had fallen down, so it just said OY. I always wondered whether that was intentional or simply a Freudian fall. Either way, I thought it was hilarious!
And yes, I do like the blow-up decorations. That said, the yards with hundreds of decorations are doing way too much.
There were many more. People sure have their opinions on blow up decorations during the holidays! 
See you next month, folks!
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