 For Authors: May 22, 2024 Issue [#12563] |
This week: Making It Memoir-able Edited by: Fyn  
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I don't know where the idea originated that memoir writing is cathartic. For me, it's always felt like playing my own neurosurgeon, sans anesthesia. As a memoirist, you have to crack your head open and examine every uncomfortable thing in there.~~Koren Zailckas
This is absolutely true!!!
A memoir forces me to stop and remember carefully. It is an exercise in truth. In a memoir, I look at myself, my life, and the people I love the most in the mirror of the blank screen. In a memoir, feelings are more important than facts, and to write honestly, I have to confront my demons.~~Isabel Allende
Yes!
Most memoir writers will tell you that the hardest part of writing a memoir isn't what to include, but what to leave out.Share this.~~Kathleen Flinn
Yuppers!
A memoir should have some uplifting quality, inspiring or illuminating, and that's what separates a life story that can influence other people.~~Mitch Albom
Exactly what I've attempted to do.
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Well, I recently finished writing a memoir. Is it any good? I truly hope so. It isn't written like any memoir I've ever read. It is totally different in its presentation. It is a conversation with a reader. It's a combination of essays, poetry, explanations, and stories. It was far more difficult to write than I ever expected it to be.
It's all there: the great, the sad, the learning, the horrific, and the redemptive. I had to take almost a brutal look at what I was writing and why I chose to tell the tales I did. In the process, I discovered that I also had to undergo a brutal examination of who I am, at what makes me, me. Honestly, at times, it was like flaying myself wide open. I felt incredibly vulnerable while writing it. And . . . I still feel that way. My kids will learn stuff they never knew. As will friends. That old fear that dogged me most of my life of being afraid people won't like me rises once again. I've had to think back on choices made, or not (!) made and look at them through that rearview mirror.
A friend asked why I'd do that to myself. Because, just maybe, someone will read something of me and have it zing something in them. Maybe something I survived will give them the added 'oomph' to get through or past a tough time. Maybe because they might laugh or smile on a day they needed to do that. Another reason is because I simply want to tell my story, err, stories.
And yet, to do this, I had to relive different moments that belonged buried; I had to dig them up and see them again. Not just from the memories but from the additional perspective that time may give. I didn't sleep well during this. I had night terrors again. I cried. And yet . . . and yet I also laughed, missed people I loved dearly, and I appreciated the times, the people, and the moments; the last, more, perhaps, than ever before.
I was clueless when I started this, all that is involved in writing a memoir. Which stories to tell, which to leave out, and why? Why did I feel that one story was important to be included? Some of what I wrote were 'little' things. Not overwhelmingly important in the grand scheme of things, and yet, important to me. Some were just fun tales of my crazy adventures. "The right place at the right time' sort of thing. (Or maybe, the wrong place at the right time.) Regardless, they all jumble together into who I am, who I have grown to become. I'm darned proud of the fact that at seventy, I am, for the first time in my life, happy with me! That's worth celebrating.
If you've ever considered writing your story, I encourage it. Your entire story, not just bits and pieces scattered throughout your port. It is the history, the story of you. That is incredibly important. Because, in the act of living a life, we have all done amazing things. We have all conquered that impossible mountainous climb. We have all lived, had stellar moments and crushing defeats. We all have our story to tell.
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Jtpete 1986  writes: Fyn:
I am extremely flattered you used my story as one of your examples. When I create my stories, I always create them with just a one-person audience in mind: me. While I love other people reading my work, I have never been able to self-promote my work; so, thank you! John
You are quite welcome!
Dawn Embers  says: Great topic for the newsletter. My titles vary in style, length and how I come about them. Sometimes, the title will come first when I create a story/novel. Other times, I have to use a placeholder just to give it something while I work through drafts. I have changed titles during rewrites when something more fitting comes along. I never know when or how I will get a title and all that matters is a title comes at some point or another. Untitled doesn't go over well.
True!
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