 Comedy: June 26, 2024 Issue [#12606] |
This week: Does Your Dog Bite? Edited by: 🐕GeminiGem🎁  
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Hi there, I am 🐕GeminiGem🎁 , one of the regular editors of the Comedy Newsletter. Travel challenges come in all sizes, shapes, and species. Come along with me as I navigate a recent trip! |
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This is a classic Peter Sellers/Pink Panther bit.
Does Your Dog Bite?
I have heard that you can learn a lot about your partner when traveling with them. Have you heard that, too? I would say that you learn about anyone you travel with, the good and the bad. That is true as well for other family members, friends, members of a travel group, etc.
The most important thing you learn is if you ever want to travel with them again.
In my case, I'm not referring to my husband. We've been married long enough and traveled together enough that I know exactly how it will go with him. Since our personalities are very different to begin with, you might imagine that our preferred style of travel is also very different. I'll just leave it at that.
I am actually here to discuss my dogs. Yes, again. I gave the beginning of this story in "Road Trip" . We survived traveling with Cheddar, the Dog Who Barfs in the Car. Next, we had to survive our overprotective Chihuahua mix, LuLu, attacking every stranger who had the audacity to want to pet her or Cheddar. Perhaps the strangers had more nefarious plans that we mere humans were unable to discern. She's just super intuitive like that.
Anyway, on this trip LuLu managed to bite the social director of Mom's retirement complex. I was watching her closely as the man offered to pet LuLu on the head for any sign of distress or aggression, but she failed to show any. She just went in for the kill like a gangster. You can bet that incident was the subject of gossip that traveled like wild fire from one end of the retirement complex to the other. Did you hear about Marion's daughter's little dog? She bit Mr. Henderson right on the finger after the Wednesday afternoon program! Ironically, this is not the first time I've been the subject of gossip at the retirement complex, but it is the first time I was concerned about it.
LuLu has not been banned from the retirement complex (yet), but I voluntarily put her under house arrest. That means no direct contact with strangers, and she's kept on leash around anyone except me, my husband, and my mom. That includes other family members (my family lives all over the country, so they are essentially strangers to my dogs). At one point, little six-pound LuLu raced across Mom's apartment like a trained police dog to take down my six-foot-tall brother. He had the nerve to pet Cheddar without LuLu's permission! Dave almost noticed the attack as her teeth sunk deep into the cuff of his pants.
I am aware of the reputation of the Chihuahua breed. I have had several dogs of this breed over the years, and LuLu is my first biter. She was rescued as a stray, and we don't know what happened to her in her previous life. I would bet it wasn't good. To be fair to Her Spicy-ness, there are many people who probably deserve to be bitten, we just are not aware yet of their crimes against Chihuahua-kind.
The dog-related travel aggravation didn't end there. Because their routines were thoroughly disrupted, pretty much everything that should be simple everyday life became a challenge.
Mealtimes became a hassle. I brought the dishes and food they were used to (including packing a cooler for fresh dog food that needed to be refrigerated). I'm not sure why I bothered because neither dog was willing to eat enough to keep a mouse alive the entire trip.
Though they were willing to do their "business" on leash, I have never spent so much time on slogging through sopping wet grass. If it wasn't raining in the Midwest, it had just rained or was thinking about raining. Living in semi-arid Colorado for the last 36 years, this is a foreign concept. Thick, wet grass, ew, gross. I will definitely rethink my choice of footwear for the next trip.
The next trip. Yeah, that will be a thing. Mom loves to see her granddogs, and it is easier for me to put up with their idiosyncrasies than for my pet sitter to have to do it.
Besides, what else are the old folks at the retirement complex going to gossip about if I don't give them an exciting story to tell? |
Travel stories!
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From my last Comedy Newsletter "Road Trip"
oldgreywolf on wheels 
Your pillows smell like you, which you may not notice.
Your furballs would undoubtedly appreciate their own small traveling blankets, too.
You've never been stuck in a hospital bed, or you'd have a packed small go-bag (as they're now called).
May your return journey be enjoyable and uneventful.
Oh yes, the furballs had everything they needed: their blankets, beds, you name it. The humans on the trip were the ones who went without.
From Newsfeed:
Dragonfly 
My son, he being 34, and me being, well, old enough, had the good fortune to take a trip together, and go back to my place of my birth in Durango CO. We visited lots of familia, and then drove down to 4 corners, and over to Mesa Verde National Park, home of my ancestors. I couldn't walk most of the park, but my son did. On the way out we found a young lady selling Indian Fry Bread, I had to stop. It tasted just like my mom used to make. It was a beautiful time, and place. It's on my bucket list to go back one day.
That sounds like an amazing trip and I am glad you could share it with your son.
Mousethyme 
We used to drive from Roseville, MI up across the bridge and over to Florence, WI. It never failed. Dad got a ticket every time for speeding while trying to pass a semi-truck on the two-lane highway on the Upper side either coming or going. It was one of the traditions of my summer vacation
I guess the ticket was just figured into the total cost of the vacation, then, lo
S
The time a mate and I drove to Melbourne, took a wrong turn and ended up 900km out of our way... and we still got to Melbourne in time for the show...
Just for context, it would be like heading from Jacksonville, FL to Chattanooga, TN, and ending up in Shreveport, LA.
So...you took the scenic route?
TheLoneWriter 
Once, when my daughter was about three years old, I was buckling her in her car seat. She asked me why she had to ride in a car seat. I told her it was illegal for her not to. She then asked me what illegal meant. I replied that it meant it was against the law. She nodded as she understood and asked me why I said it in Spanish the first time.
And why did you say it in Spanish the first time? LOL |
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