This week: An Ex vs the Next Edited by: Dawn Embers  
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Romance/Love Newsletter by Dawn
Taking inspiration from the fake dating reality shows and considering the role a previous relationship can have on a future one in a romance story. |
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An ex-relationship can play a significant role within the story. This can be the reason for conflict, a character who is antaginstic or even be someone who is used as a friend. The ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend could even be the love interest, if you are writing a story about second chances. Unless the character is having their very first relationship, there is a high chance that they have an ex lurking around in the background. Is that person getting in the way of them being successful at love? Is the ex actually the one for them? Where does the past love interest fit in the main character's life and story?
The Conflict
For some, the ex-love interest is going to be a source of conflict and this includes the second chance romances because the fact they broke up will probably have an influence on whether or not they can stay together in the story. Just the term "ex" has an ominous ring and is probably known for many as someone with negative vibes or the creator of conflict when around. This depends on a number of factors including how the relationship went and how it ended. So, if there is an ex character involved in your story, what is the role they possess?
Some options for conflict include: wanting to get back together or to steal their love back.
Sabotage to the relationship because they think the new person isn't good enough or for other reasons.
Just being around and getting in the way of the next relationship by their mere presence.
Having put self-doubt or created negative thoughts about the character or whether they can find love.
Existing as a shadow that hangs over the potential relationship, whether somewhat tame or terrifying in the darkness created.
The enemy role might seem the easiest. It's a good way to bring in a little side conflict or could even exist as the main conflict with an ex getting in the way of someone moving on to a better relationship. The ex can also be someone that sparks the start of a story or moves things forwards. I read one book a while ago where the character ran into his ex, who left him for some model and saw she was engaged. So, he pretended to be in a relationship with his best friend to save face. He also gets outed for it on Facebook by said ex, since his family had no idea about the fake relationship and chaos ensues.
The Support
Sometimes an ex can stick around without getting in the way of future romances. They become the friend character or someone on the side. This can be someone who is helpful, or at least tries to be helpful with all of the information that they have involving the main character. It is possible for a breakup to have been amicable or for time to heal some wounds. I personally can contact my ex from college even now, 20 years later, and chat on Facebook. There is no romantic interest, so I wouldn't exist as a conflict even if I think she has had bad taste on some of her other relationships. I only wish her well. Someone who has a best friend who happened to have been a romantic relationship in the past presents an interesting character in a story. How do they handle the role? Do they still have some type of love for the main character? Is there a question of trust since they are friends? Could this person be the one who drives the two characters together into a relationship? Options.
It probably helps if the character can explain or show the love interest that this person is just a friend and not going to be a potential risk factor to the relationship, if whatever way that is possible. Though a little conflict that gets resolved within the story certainly wouldn't hurt the overall plot line. Trust is very important in real life relationships, so it can be important to show the ability to trust within the story as well. This ex person knows the main character, possibly on an intimate level, which means they also know the struggles that they might face when dealing with a relationship. They can be a rock of support or a voice of reason to help guide the character towards the end goal when it comes to accepting love from another person. It all depends on how you write the character.
How things go in the story will depend on how the characters develop and how you write things. Let's see what you've got? Show me a story that includes and ex character. I'm curious what role you think an ex can have in a romance/love story.
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Does the main character's ex play a role in the story?
Last time, for the romance newsletter, I discussed character traits. Here is a comment sent in from that topic:
Comment by Elisa: Stik or Treat  :
I think it depends on the trait. For my short story cycle, the female lead's chronic illness came about pretty early in the process, but it wasn't the most deliberate choice. That said, I have made the illness pretty integral to the plots of both individual stories and the collection as a whole. After all, the illness will also shape the development of her husband...and eventual boyfriend.
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Romance/Love: October 16, 2024 Issue [#12793]
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