 Comedy: December 18, 2024 Issue [#12886] |
This week: Broom? I should have taken a Sleigh! Edited by: Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥmas  
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 It's late. It's late!
Why did I drag my broom and take an extra week before my annual move South for the winter?
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Hello everyone! It is I, your local WDC Witch reporting in from the Southern Command Center!
Yes, I got here later than usual... stuff happens, you know. 
Smoke, Wind & Snow...Oh My!
I always seem to drag my feet about all the stuff needing to be locked, down, secured, dust-covered and moth-balled before leaving the house for months. This year it was a little more perplexing because I had to know exactly which day I would be out of the house so my son could meet the plumber there to winterize the pipes.
I cut it close being the day before the plumber was to show simply because emptying the deep box-freezer is always a chore. I do not have a freezer on my fridge since I bought a refrigerator or freezer only, convertible fridge. I do love it, but I had to plan the food for the road trip, which I made in advance and froze to microwave in the hotels on the road. It saves oodles of money on food expenses. Plus, being quite frozen adds to keep all perishables safe during traveling. 
Finally! Ruby was packed and on the road. We got to Western Massachusetts when signs started flashing on the Pike. "Forest fires ahead." 
Miles later the familiar scent of smoke entered my nostrils. Then the smoke screen enveloped the area. My allergies were irritated at that point. These conditions went on for miles and right into New York, state, as a matter of fact. Of course that slowed the traveling down forcing a stay for the night right over the NY-PA state line because it was getting late and having done all that packing during the day, it was time to stop for the night and get a fresh start early in the morning.
Next day travels were interesting. It went from smoke to rain in Pennsylvania. I figured rain's good. It can put out or slow down the extent of fires, plus wash the smoke out of the air a bit. 
Rain's a good thing during the drought conditions we've experienced in the North East for months. Moving along, the air turned much colder changing rain to snow. But the sweet, light flakes were pretty to visit because I knew I wouldn't see that in Florida.  Traveling again was a little slower than usual. By the we got to Virginia, the snow was a lot more aggressive. Okay, Virginia would be another stop-over. Perhaps North Carolina will be more gentle in the morning.
Caution! Heavy winds! (Tractor trailers expect lots of fun with this warning.) Of course with all the runaway truck ramps there, we could feel a little safer. 
Finally, no rain, no snow, nor wind or fires were to be found in South Carolina. Nope. It was just a lot of road work to slow everyone down, forcing yet another night's stop-over. 
I don't mind taking an extra day if needed. But this stop? I can't believe it turned out to be Homecoming weekend! I mean I don't care who's coming home. I care about going home. I was not there to celebrate them coming home, but to get off the road for the night and be home the next day. Haven't these people ever heard "You can't go home again?" You lived it once. It's over.
Sorry. That rant is because a simple Country Inn at that time, doubled its prices! Talk about gouging a traveler!
The next day was my homecoming. Hello, hello, my Florida! 
What?!!! What do you mean the pool is broken? 
The Oval Wreath:
With travels behind me, it was time to enjoy Thanksgiving, and decorate the Christmas tree. Interior lighting was coming along beautifully. I take out the stored wreath and fluff up the needles so the solar lighting can display its perfection to the fullest!
"WebLock, where did you put the wreath that goes in the front window?"
I placed it on the ground in the flower bed area, to get lots of sun on the solar lights."
"But, it can get messed up standing on the ground. That wasn't a Dollar Store wreath. I got it from the Balsam Hill company. You know they aren't cheap, there. But their large wreaths are very festive and beautiful." 
"Don't worry. I will hang it later. Nothing will hurt it."
Coming back from the clubhouse that evening, all the lights on the tin can were shining bright and looking good!  Of course, all but one particular lit decoration!
"WebLock, why is my wreath oval instead of round with the needles laying inward and flat on the form?" It looks like an Easter egg!" 
Well folks, WebLock knew darn well why that wreath looked so misshapen. I guess he figured I wouldn't notice with the lights shining on it.
Web-Witch notices. She ALWAYS notices! 
That's all the noticing she noticed for this end of the year Comedy Newsletter!
Until next time--laugh hard, laugh often!
 Merry Christmas/Happy Hanukkah, and Happy Holidays to all! 
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Short. But oh, so sweet!
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