 Comedy: May 16, 2007 Issue [#1715] |
  Comedy
This week: Edited by: elizm446
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Yeah, I know I'm ugly...I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'
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I’d like to think that I have a pretty good sense of humor. It’s a little warped and twisted at times but still. I'm very easily amused and find humor in simple everyday things. I'll see something and laugh and laugh, but my friends will just give me the "You're a moron" look. I'm proud of the fact that I can find humor in everything, like the letter from the leasing office sent out to everyone in my community. This is the actual letter they sent. I copied it word-for-word, exactly the way they sent it out:
“Dear Windsor Crossing residents:
This letter is harsh and may offend some of our residents but due to the repeated complaints by many I find it necessary to be blunt and direct.
Residents and Pet Owners Be aware that we are putting our cell phones cameras to good use by clicking a snap shot of any pet that is being allowed to roam around without a leash (which is a pet policy here and City ordinance). Pet Owners are often witnessed allowing their pet to POOP in any area they choose without being responsible enough to pick up the PILES of POOP! We have NINE pet waste stations even one at the play park are for your convenience, still pet owners stand by and watch their dog POOP and ignore this simple request. PICK IT UP!! This is disrespectful to your community and your neighbors!
Please understand we do not like to leave this type of harsh message but we must address with you to stress the importance of following the pet policy rules so that everyone can enjoy walking their pet and leaving lawn areas cleaner for others especially to play in the community.
A special Thank you to each pet owner that is being responsible in picking up after their pet, your cooperation is GREATLY appreciated by our Maintenance Staff and your Neighbors.
Sincerely,
Windsor Crossing Team.
Gail, Julie, Danelle, Eddie, Pam, Viola and Adam”
At the bottom of the letter, there are a couple of little images. There’s a guy walking a dog. Then behind him is a steaming pile of poop that was clearly drawn. Standing next to the pile is a woman with a shovel. She has a poorly drawn bubble next to her that says, “Hey, you forgot you Forgot The Poop!”
Anyway, I was amused by the whole thing since they didn't intend for it to be funny. They were serious and they used the word "poop" and they kept putting "poop" in bold, capital letters.
The letter was sent out a month ago but I still manage to step a pile no matter where I walk. 
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twinkledee ♥'s you  :Awww, I'm sorry! I'd hate to lose my teddy.
Did you at least ask how much they got for it?!  
Five bucks.  And I didn't see a dime of it! 
Lauriemariepea : poookieeee!!!! i'm having flashbacks...my pookiebear. *sniff*
apparently, you're never too old to traumatize someone else's kid, either. *gurg*
(very funny stuff, mia! thanks for the newsletter!)
Thanks! Flashbacks can be rough. Don't worry, we'll get through this together.
Problematic Content : Pooky? Wow, you're such a dweeb.
I remember buying Pooky at that yard sale. I resold him though to some shady street thugs that were breeding pitbulls for fighting. Apparently teddy bears make good training "toys" for vicious pitbulls.
Hmm. I’m a dweeb? Word on the street is you like to make scrapbooks. People in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.
Turtle : I very seldom write humorous pieces, but I subscribe because this newsletter always makes me laugh. Thanks for lightening my life.
Glad to hear it.  And thank you for subscribing.
dogfreek21: aww, poor Mia!!! Poor Pooky... 
That enough sympathy? Hope so.
Yup. That’ll do, Pup.
Mark : Eventually I will realize, through the constant reinforcement you offer, that my family too, is a great source of pain err...humor. Thanks for another thought provoking and entertaining newsletter.
Thanks, Mark! Turning the pain caused by your family into humor is much, much cheaper than therapy. 
billwilcox: Mia, lucky for you that you didn't fall on the floor. You'd probably be living in somebody else's house!
Only you would think of that, Bill!
spazmom : Oh my heck...been there. sigh. We don't MEAN to warp your psyche!!!
Sure, you don’t. I’ve heard that before. 
The Milkman  : You are lucky they only sold your Teddy Bear... when I joined the Navy my parents sold my bedroom furniture.
Ouch. Tough break there, Moo. I’d still prefer my teddy bear over bedroom furniture.
girlwhowearsadirtyshirt : Aw, I'm so sorry about your teddy bear.
I have one that my grandpa gave me when I was 3. It's sure as heck coming to college with me in the fall and if my parents try to sell it fist, well, I might be paying my own way then but I'll have my bear. :)
Bringing it with you is a smart idea. But be careful about leaving him alone with your roommate(s). Oh that reminds me of a story about when I went away to college and my dorm mates decided to play a joke on me. Hmm, maybe I'll tell that one in my next edition.
fleckgirl: Mia - Yet another great newsletter! I can relate to your Pooky story, and I know there will never be a replacement, but your answer back to your mom about her purse and coat... CLASSIC!!! Loved that!
Thanks, Fleck girl! Hey, you got promoted since my last edition.
Jade is very busy :Dear Mia,
You poor thing!!! I have a Pookey, too. I would be devastated if someone sold it. How could they? I hope you made lots of money selling her stuff. There should be a grief group for the loss of a beloved stuffed animal. What do you think?
LOL! A support group for people who lost their childhood teddy bears, huh? Oh man, therapists would make a killing!
Robert Waltz  : and elizm446 still got more comments than I did. I give up. *sends six dozen baby ducks to elizm446 in abject surrender*
Robert, my friend, this isn’t a competition. Although, if it was, I definitely kicked your butt. 
Thanks for subscribing! Tell your friends! Spread the word! And don't unsubscribe otherwise I'll have to spend another night crying myself to sleep.
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