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When I have nightmares, my mind turns into a bargain store, where bad dreams sift through the discount bins of mostly worthless short-term memories, looking not for items which are valuable or even useful but only for those things that are still bright and shiny and held most dear.
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My good friend undocked22 suggested I do a newsletter on embalming. So this is for you UD! I hope you can get the goo out.
Everything You Wanted To Know About Embalming, But Were Afraid To Ask
The Egyptians
The Egyptian embalming process took about 70 days. It began with the body being washed and an incision cut into the side. Through this incision the internal viscera were removed and placed in canoptic jars. The brain, accessed via the nose, was minced and pulled from the skull with hooks. (Kind of like the headache you get after a rollicking New Years Eve party.) Anyway, next the body cavity was stuffed with natron salt (sodium bicarbonate), the skull filled with resin, and then allowed to "cure" for a period of about 40 days. After these 40 days, the body was anointed with perfume and then packed with herbs, linen, and/or sawdust. Finally, the body was wrapped in linens and placed in a coffin for entombment.
The Americas
Embalming began in America during the Civil War to transport the dead soldiers back home to their families and it was a much less complicated technique than what the Egyptians used. Arsenic was mixed with water and then injected through the arterial system. The arsenic effectively killed off microorganisms that contributed to decomposition but was later banned in the early 20th century due to its significant health risks.
How They Do It
The whole process begins by placing the facial features and the body itself in the position it will remain in the casket for viewing. This is done before arterial embalming, because the body will be truly "set" (firmed in position once formaldehyde reaches the tissues). The embalmer places the remains straight from head to toe on the embalming table. The arms are held in position, usually with hands folded across the stomach, by a special positioning device. The head is placed on a headblock (I wonder if that's where the term 'blockhead' came from), and many embalmers will tilt the head 15 degrees to the right so mourners can more easily see the face.
Great care is then taken to close the eyes. The traditional method for doing this involves placing a bit of cotton between the eye and eyelid (lovely, that probably makes you think you're seeing clouds on your way to heaven). Many times after death the eyes sink back into their sockets (drugs will do that to ya, too), so small plastic "eye caps" are placed on each eye ball. An eyecap is shaped like a large contact lens and has a textured surface that grips and holds the eyelid in place. A small amount of stay creme is placed on the eyecap to avoid dehydration of the eyelids. Contrary to popular myth, the eyelids are never sewn shut, but in some cases that may be glued together to prevent separation. (It just keeps getting better and better: glue my eyes and shut my mouth.)
The mouth is closed either by tying the jaw together with a piece of suture string or by a special injector gun. With the suture method, a curved needle with a piece of suture string is threaded through the jaw below the gums, stuck through upper jaw into to the right nostril, threaded through the septum of the nose into the left nostril, and then passed back down into the mouth (get them boogers outta there too while you're at it). The two ends of suture are tied, careful not too tightly, so that a natural appearance of the mouth is created. Some embalmers prefer to close the mouth using the 'needle injector gun'. The gun drives a needle with a piece of wire attached into the jaw. Needles are driven into both the lower and upper jaw and then twisted together. (Man, I gotta get me one of those injector guns to shorten those long arguments with my wife).
To finish closing the mouth, many times a mouth former is used. A mouth former is similar to an eyecap as it has a textured side that grips the lips, but it is shaped like the mouth. A small amount of stay creme (ya gotta love that stay creme) is also used on the mouth to avoid dehydration and help hold the lips in place. The mortician may also squeeze inside the mouth a little mastic compound, a paste kind of like caulk to give the mouth a better and more pleasing shape (I wonder if that's what all those actresses use).
Probably the most important part of the embalming process is the arterial injection of embalming fluids. Using the body's own vascular system (arteries, veins, and capillaries), embalming fluid flows to all parts of the body, penetrating into and preserving muscle, skin, and organs (like a little 'embalming fluid roller coaster ride').
Arterial embalming begins by selecting an artery to inject the fluid into and a vein to drain away blood. The most popular site (however multiple injection and drainage sites may be used) is on the right side of the body near the collarbone. Here are located, right next to each other, the right common carotid artery and the right internal jugular vein. A small incision is made just deep enough to cut the skin and an aneurysm hook is used to separate the tissue above the vein and artery. The embalmer raises the artery above the skin surface and passes two pieces of suture string beneath it to create a ligature to tie off the vessel once the arterial tube is inserted. The same is done with the vein.
Each vessel will receive a tube to facilitate injection and drainage. The artery is incised (very carefully as to not cut it in half) and an arterial canula (tube) is inserted into the artery towards the heart. The ligature is now tightened so that a seal is made between the tube and the artery. The same is done with the jugular drain tube. A clear hose is attached to the drain tube and the hose from the embalming machine and then connected to the arterial tube.
The embalmer has a wide variety of embalming fluids available to him or her. Pre-injection chemicals break up clots and condition vessels. Coinjection chemicals restore dehydrated tissues, fight edema (too much fluid in the tissues), and correct hard water. Cauterants dry, seal and preserve open wounds. The most important chemical, the arterial fluid, is made up of preservatives, germicides, anticoagulants, dyes, and perfume.(At least your smelling good.)
The main ingredient of arterial fluids is formaldehyde. Formaldehyde is extremely toxic and a known carcinogen. OSHA (Occupational Safety and Health Administration) regulates its use in funeral homes. It requires exhaust fans in prep rooms, signs warning of the presence of formaldehyde, as well as numerous other rules and regulations. (However, for some odd reason some people enjoy smoking marijuana that's laced with embalming fluid. They call it "fry," and as you can imagine, it really "fries" the brain of the user.)
I must mention a new trend in embalming, which is the use of the chemical Glutaraldehyde. Some embalmers prefer it over formaldehyde because it doesn't produce the irritating fumes that formaldehyde does, plus some say that it does a superior job of preserving the remains. One reason it hasn't caught on is that it doesn't produce as much firmness as formaldehyde, and firmness is one sign that embalmers use to gauge the amount of penetration and preservation of the arterial & cavity chemicals. (Unbelievable, even in death, you gotta worry about keeping it firm.)
Getting back to the task at hand, the embalmer must inject about 1 gallon of fluid for every 50 pounds of body weight. A typical gallon of fluid might be made up of 1 bottle of arterial fluid, 1 bottle of coinjection fluid, 1 bottle of water corrective, and enough water to complete the gallon. This recipe changes depending on the condition of the body.(Recipe? Boy, we're cooking now!)
Once the chemicals are in the reservoir of the embalming machine it is time to begin injection. The embalming machine has two knobs which regulate pressure (the force of the fluid) and rate of flow (speed of the fluid). These knobs are adjusted to create the optimum rate of injection for the body, which there is no set rule for. Some machines have a pulse feature that pumps the fluid much like a heart would pump, with alternating pressure. This is very effective in avoiding swelling of tissues. The machine is switched on and the fluids begin to move through the hose, through the arterial tube and into the body.
Once the embalming fluid begins to flow into the arterial system, pressure begins to build up in the entire vascular system. This helps the fluid reach all parts of the body and penetrate into the tissues. Evidence of this can be seen in bulging veins throughout the body. The jugular drain tube is opened periodically (it is normally closed) to allow blood to escape and prevent too much pressure in the vascular system which could cause swelling. The blood drains directly into the sewer system, which sounds gross, but in reality MUCH worse things go into our sewers.
There are several signs the embalmer uses to gauge whether embalming fluid has permeated through the entire body. Dyes used in arterial fluids help the embalmer know where fluid has reached and where it has not (these dyes also help to produce a more pleasing cosmetic appearance). Return of the arterial fluid from the jugular drain tube tells the embalmer that fluid has gone throughout the entire vascular system. Also, firming of the tissues lets an embalmer know that preservative chemical has reached tissues.
Once arterial injection has been completed, the arterial and jugular tubes are removed, the vessels are tied closed, and the incision used to access the vessels is sutured closed and sealed with a special chemical. Our remains are juiced up and ready to go...almost...
Let's not forget about the body cavity.(*slaps forehead* How could I ever forget?) Arterial fluids mainly treat the skin, muscles, and organs themselves. What's inside the organs (such as urine, bile, etc.) begins to decompose. Gases and bacteria can build up and cause distention, odor, and purge (such as brown fluids coming out of the mouth - not exactly the way you want to remember grandma). These bacteria can sometimes spread to other parts of the body, even after arterial embalming, causing decomposition problems (and then sometimes legal problems for the funeral home).
Cavity treatment starts with aspirating (suctioning) fluids out of the internal organs in the abdomen and thoracic cavity. We accomplish this with the use of a trocar.(Ah! The old trocar!) A trocar is a long metal tube with sharp blades at one end and a connector for a hose at the other. The hose is connected to a device that creates suction, either an electric aspirator or water powered aspirator (called a hydro-aspirator) and then connected to the trocar. The sharp blades on the trocar are used to pierce through the abdomen near the belly button.(OW!) From this entry point, the embalmer directs the trocar towards and pierces all the internal organs, and allows the trocar to remain in each organ long enough to suction off the fluids. (What a way to lose weight!)
The hose is disconnected from the aspirator and connected to an adapter that screws directly onto the bottle of cavity fluid. The trocar is once again pierced into the organs and the cavity fluid flows into them by simple gravity. Usually two bottles of full strength fluid are used to treat the entire thoracic and abdominal cavities. Cavity fluids are very similar to arterial fluids, containing about the same percentage of formaldehyde. However cavity fluids are slightly more acidic than arterial fluids so that they produce faster and more firm tissues. Some cavity fluids even come with a fresh wintergreen scent! {Gee! What'll they think of next?)
Once the cavities have been treated, the trocar is removed and a "trocar button" is screwed into the hole in the abdomen that was used to access the organs. A trocar button looks much like a large plastic screw. (Very similar to what is happening to your body at this point.)
These steps apply only to a body that has not been autopsied. During autopsy all the internal organs are removed and inspected by the medical examiner and then placed back inside the body or sometimes incinerated. At the funeral home, the mortician removes the viscera and places it in a plastic bag called a "viscera bag" and allows it to soak in cavity chemical. The inside of the body cavity is aspirated with a special instrument and then coated with an embalming gel and/or an embalming powder. The treated organs are then placed back inside the body or the bag full of organs gets placed at the foot end of the casket (so NEVER try to admire a deceased's shoes!) If the viscera is not returned, then the empty cavity may be filled with adsorbent pads. In either case the autopsy opening is sutured closed and sealed.
That's it! You're all done and ready for the hole! Hopefully everything is well preserved and won't leak, at least until after the viewing.
Boy, I don't know about you, but I'm leaking already just reading this. Seriously, let's remember that there are people in this world who do this for a living and take great pride in their work. As for me...well, I'd like to go out like The Vikings: lay me in an old boat and hit it with a Zippo lighter. No fuss, no muss.
(As my birthday nears, I will be gone for a spell: fishing, gambling, drinking and engaging in all sorts of degenerate ribaldry.)
Until next we meet,
billwilcox
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So Scary I Gotta Share It
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[Excerpt] Before her sits the altar of their self sacrifice. It is a stained and well used receptacle, the trough of blood letting, grooved and equal on all sides.
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[Excerpt] I stare in absolute disbelief at this thing chomping and chewing with broken teeth, crunching syringes, Band-Aids, and used cotton swabs. Blood and pus pull and stretch in its mouth like grotesque bubble gum.
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She had a thing for spiders, the color red, the number 8, and college men.
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[Excerpt] "Are you afraid of spiders? I’m asking because my research is on spiders, and the place is full of them. Of course, they’re in glass cases, but some people can’t stand the sight of them.”
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[Excerpt] “So they say Bloody Mary lives behind the mirror!” he said in a drunken manner. “Let’s see if there really is a so-called, Bloody Mary.”
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[Excerpt] “I was afraid to show my parents, they never came when I screamed,” his breathing quickened. “They never came when I screamed and every night Chuckles, oh God,” he started to whimper and tears streamed from his eyes. “He did this to me every night until I stopped sleeping in that room…”
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[Excerpt] “That’s what I wanted to show you, those people that they say died of the fever, there ain’t a trace of ‘em in their graves. No box, no bones, no nothin’.”
[Excerpt] I bolted out of the bed and ripped the headphones out of her ears. She looked up at me, her once blue eyes were now red, blazing with flames. The instrumental middle section of “Don’t Fear The Reaper,” played, but instead of the blazing guitars and solid drums, a harpsichord’s high wail filled the air.
[Excerpt] He could feel Scot’s hand working inside his body as he talked, pushing organs aside as he searched out his heart.
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And here's a NEW Horror Group that features reviews and contests. Check it out!
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Whispers From A Dark Closet
David 
Submitted Comment:
This is a great newsletter! I'm big on throwing in the bait and pulling 'em in right off, but never thought to look for these other areas of the opening!
K. Medeiros
Submitted Comment:
I think rephrasing the four goals as evaluative questions might help... so instead of "Hook the reader" maybe "How does my story go about hooking the reader?"...and yeah...basically adding how to the other three as well. Otherwise, loved this particular issue. Am looking forward to the next topic on the pedastal (sp?).
Mavis Moog
Submitted Comment:
I love these straight-talking HOW TO WRITE.... articles and books, I have a shelf full of them now. You often feel the hackles on the back of your neck rise as you read some opinionated writer tell you how it's done. You may think to yourself, "Yes well, I write literary stuff, not to formulas." It may seem the advice is too rigid.
Once you've tried it though, it's amazing how it makes sense. Listen to the experts; they know what they're talking about. That's my advice .
Thanks for passing on Les Egerton's advice. I think it's great, and I loved the excerpt from your story. I shall be reading the whole thing very soon. You hooked me .
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Horror/Scary: July 18, 2007 Issue [#1830]
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