 Comedy: July 18, 2007 Issue [#1841] |
  Comedy
This week: Edited by: elizm446
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I'm not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did.
Yogi Berra
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I looked at my account the other day and realized that the 23rd of this month will be my fifth birthday. That seems crazy to me because I’ve never been committed to anything that long.  Anyway, it’s definitely been an eventful five years. 
And speaking of birthdays. Growing up, I never got to have any birthday parties. My family moved around a lot so I didn’t have many friends. Luckily, things changed.
It was the middle of November during my sophomore year in college and my birthday had come and gone. My parents had called with their birthday wishes and a couple of friends had wished me a happy birthday and that was that. Thanksgiving was around the corner and everyone was busy studying for finals. A group of us from my dorm decided to take a break from studying.
Since we had become so close, we decided to have ourselves an early Thanksgiving dinner before we left for Thanksgiving break. In between study sessions, we planned everything out. We divided up everything and agreed on who would do and make what. Eventually, we bought all the groceries and plasticware we needed. In lieu of a turkey, we bought a rotisserie chicken from Boston Market. The kitchen in our dorm was tiny and the oven didn’t work, so we decided to go to the dorm next door. Their kitchen was huge and there was plenty of room for us to eat together. It was actually a nice spread, we had chicken, mashed potatoes, green beans, stuffing, and cranberry. We talked. We laughed. We stuffed our faces.
When I finished helping with the cleaning, I headed back to the dorm. I had a lot more studying I needed to do. The girls caught up with me and asked me come back to the ktichen. I told them I had to study. They insisted but I really needed to study so I kept refusing. Then they got violent. There was a scuffle and I ended up back in the kitchen where all girls appeared to be waiting for me.
I stood there puzzled, when all the sudden they began to sing "Happy Birthday." Sure enough, two of my friends carried a homemade chocolate with the words "Happy Birthday Mia" on it. I couldn't believe it. No one had ever anything like that for me. Unfortunately, I never got the chance to get overcome with emotion. It went like this:
Girls: *sings* Hap-py Birthdaaaaay to youuuuuuuu.
Me: Aw, you guys!! This is so - Whoa! Easy! Stop! Wait! ... Oh @#$%&!!!!
As they brought out the cake to me they quickly picked up speed and before I realized what was happening, it was all over me. It was in my hair. All over my clothes. On my face. I grabbed what was left of the cake and we had an all out food fight. Of course, no one looked worse than me with chocolate frosting in my hair. And I had to walk back to my dorm looking like I had been attacked by an army of pastries. Naturally, everyone inside and outside the dorm stopped and stared.
I didn't get a chance to study that night because it took me hours to fix my hair. And that, ladies and gentlemen, was how I celebrated my 19th birthday. Best birthday I've had so far. 
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Satuawany  : I hope you charged extra for all the squirming and screaming.
I should have.
Michelle M  : Great newsletter! I enjoyed your story so much when you were a little girl playing doctor and charging for exams! I think every kid wants to make a little extra money and get noticed for their talents. I would draw and I had a basket full of colorful drawings that I would sell to my relatives. My husband put on magic shows when he was little and charged a fee for them. Interesting to know how many of us thought up ideas for extra cash!
Glad you liked it! I actually did a little magic on the side as well but being a doctor felt so rewarding.
spazmom : This was hilarious!! You are soo right, kids are very over looked. I still can't believe you tried to take off her wart! LOL I'm still chuckling...
She and I talked about it the other day. She remembers everything, lol.
dogfreek21: MIA!!! I was literally twitching and making shocked noises when you just started talking about the wart!!!! Not to mention when I GOT to that part... *twitch* Thanks for such an enjoyable newsletter!
Thank you. Thank you. *takes a bow*
andromeda : Okay, where can I find this teddy bear story? It sounds like something interesting!
Check the archives, there’s actually two teddy bear stories.
billwilcox: Mia, you are too much! I used to play doctor with the girl next door. Although we never actually removed anything but our outer clothing
Thank you, Bill. 
fleckgirl: Mia - LOVED the Doctor story! Your stories always seem to remind me of stuff my brother did, or things that I remember doing myself, and I think THAT's why I enjoy reading your newsletter so much! Thanks once again for sharing!
I'm glad my stories remind others of their childhood. That means I was normal, right?
Barbara E. Lehman : Dear Mia, I could not sleep so I went into my library and got onto Writing.com. I have read about your doctoring - oh your poor Mom. But oh, I sure needed that laugh. Being down I needed this lift. Thanks bunches
Glad I could make your day a little brighter.
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