 Comedy: October 31, 2007 Issue [#2036] |
  Comedy
This week: Edited by: Robert Waltz  
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"I had thought — I had been told — that a 'funny' thing is a thing of a goodness. It isn't. Not ever is it funny to the person it happens to. Like that sheriff without his pants. The goodness is in the laughing itself. I grok it is a bravery... and a sharing... against pain and sorrow and defeat."
- Valentine Michael Smith
(Robert Heinlein,
Stranger in a Strange Land) |
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Putting the TRICK
Back in TRICK OR TREAT
There's a lot of angst over holidays and observances these days. Sometimes it seems you can't have a day without some group getting their collective drawers in a wad over its history, origin, customs, and so on. Fourth of July? Failed ideals. Christmas? Keep it out of schools or you're violating church/state separation. Thanksgiving? A spit in the face to the native Americans. And don't even get me started about Columbus Day.
At least we can count on Halloween... wait, what? It's a blatantly Pagan celebration of superstition? It's an excuse to teach kids Devil worship? Or, no, the customs are offensive to real Witches?
Gaaaah! Is NOTHING sacred anymore?!
Lighten up, everyone, and remember the TRUE purpose of Halloween: to support candy and costume manufacturers worldwide.
The custom of dressing up rugrats in costumes, scary or otherwise, and sending them door-to-door to beg candy from grown-ups appears to be relatively recent in the long history associated with October 31. The interesting thing (from the perspective of one who seeks the enlightened path of comedy) is the excuse for running around in said costumes and gathering said candy:
"Trick or Treat."
Which is short for:
"If you don't slap some candy into my grubby little fists right now, I hope you like eggs with your shutters."
The problem is, egging someone's house is not only cruel, but worse, it's Just Not Funny. And have you seen the price of eggs these days? Somehow I think even a child could work out a cost/benefit analysis. "Okay, we're going to go up Potter Street, cross over to McGonnagal along Granger, and then take Severus Lane all the way back to Hagrid Boulevard and then head home. We can expect 90% of the houses to slap some candy into our grubby little fists along the way, for a total take of, let's see... carry the three... $2.58 in Smarties and Tootsie Pops. For the other 10% we'll need three dozen eggs, which we can buy for... hm. Maybe we should use flaming bags of poo instead."
No, eggs are old-school, used up, pranked out. So, incidentally, is toilet paper. It's time, kiddies, to get creative with the pranks.
Unfortunately, my crack legal team has advised me that I might be held liable for any examples of practical jokes that I might convey in this newsletter - and, worse, that it would invite such things to be perpetrated unto me.
I can only give guidelines:
 If someone gets hurt, it's not funny.
If the would-be prankster gets hurt setting it up, that is funny.
Any fake spiders, snakes, scorpions, Republicans or the like should at least look realistic.
The flaming bag of poo prank I mentioned above? Yeah, it's not really funny either.
People's cars are off limits for pranks. Unless they're Hummers.
Remember the Klingon adage: Revenge is a dish best served cold.
Don't prank people who did give you candy. That just screams "retaliation."
Well, however you observe Halloween or Samhain, have a good one - and don't be stingy with the candy! |
Even if I'm too much of a weenie to suggest any pranks, these brave folks have written tales of horror - the horror of practical jokes, that is.
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Responses to my last newsletter, concerning dark comedy:
Tigger thinks of Prancer  :  ! Thanks for the newsletter. I can be the uptight sort that won't laugh at dark humor and instead respond with a headshake and a cluck... but you provided a good perspective here. Thanks for it. (And I love your comment to moog!)
As I said, dark humor isn't for everyone. Neither, for that matter, is pranks. One day, if I don't get distracted, maybe I'll write a long essay on the various types of humor and the psychological background required to- oooh shiny!
Tehanu : Yeah, I agree with you that dark comedy is a useful coping mechanism when dealing with ultra-bleak material. Interesting choice of topic and perfect examples, Mr. Waltz.
It's a *light* dark comedy, but one of my favorite movies is Better Off Dead. Suicide isn't a funny topic, but John Cusack is excellent as a teen desperate to off himself. And the fact that some of the experiences were based on the director's life make me feel better about bitter events that have occurred in my own life. That movie never fails to make me laugh.
The movie Harold and Maude comes to mind also. And I can think of a few people who wish John Cusack would succeed at that endeavor!
Done any practical jokes lately? If the statute of limitations has expired, write them in - I'm always up for a good joke, as long as you don't play it on ME. 
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