 Action/Adventure: May 07, 2008 Issue [#2376] |
  Action/Adventure
This week: Edited by: W.D.Wilcox  
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It was a dark and stormy night... |
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A Dark and Stormy Night: The Action and Adventure in Describing a Scene
Have you ever caught yourself reading a story and just skimmed over the descriptions of the weather and the countryside because it held no interest for you?
Did you know that when describing your setting even minor descriptions can be filled with action; that they can come to life and make your reader feel as if they are actually there - make them want to read each and every word?
"But how?" you ask.
"What can you do to a boring description of, say rain, that can possibly hold your readers interest?"
The answer is in the verbs.
Sure, you can write that it is raining and that because of it everything is...well...wet. Or, you can use what I call ‘action verbs' that can make the scene come completely alive.
You could write, ‘It was a dark and stormy night...', or, perhaps you could write something like this, ‘The hard rain, like a vertical river, beat the hell out of the cherry blossoms leaving bright petals scattered across the soaked lawn as if they were confetti'.
The key here is that the rain is described as hard, like a vertical river, and it is beating the cherry blossoms until they are scattered like confetti across the soaked lawn.
These are all 'action verbs' used to set up a scene.
Here's another example...
Rain drummed on the world outside. As he picked up the phone, it hissed a soft roar not unlike the echo of your own circulation when you hold a seashell to your ear. Slamming it back into its cradle, he looked out the window.
The storm had washed all the color out of the day. Torrents of hard-driven rain clattered against the windows and streamed down the glass; armies of rain marched across the roof.
He was cutoff from the outside world. The yellow raincoat that hung from the chair was slick and shiny with water. Grabbing it, he slipped his arms into its icy sleeves, and with numb fingers, buttoned up the front. Whatever had to be done, it was up to him to do it.
The reader is left thinking that whatever is about to happen next is going to be a matter of life-and-death. And notice that not once did I actually use the word...wet. Of course, we all know that the first thing we learn about rain is that it is...wet. But ask yourself, what else do we know?
Rain can make the sound of a drum, so the rain drummed. We know that when it rains the sky is cloudy and gray and that it washes everything clean, so the storm washed all the color away. Also, I'm sure we've all experienced torrents of hard-driven rain, and heard it clatter against the windows and have seen it stream down the glass. But have you not also heard it march across the rooftops like an army? Of course you have.
When you are describing the weather, make it come alive; when you are setting a scene, make it compliment the action that is about to take place. It can be foreboding, ominous, menacing and sinister, or, it can be just another dark and stormy night.
Until next time,
billwilcox
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Stories that Sting with Action & Adventure
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EMAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anne Light 
Submitted Comment:
I found myself nodding along as I read your concise newsletter. I'd like to add that dialogue attribution serves as a pause. If you want the dialogue to flow on, like an easy conversation, it's best to leave out any additional information. If you need a break, use it for giving out information about the characters. Well, that's what I do.
Kyna 
Submitted Comment:
A very helpful newsletter. Thanks
Joshiahis
Submitted Comment:
Excellent period of instruction! You broke it down so even I can understand it.
Puditat
Submitted Comment:
Bill, a wonderful newsletter. "The zone" is such an awesome place to be in, and just your discussion of it excited me. Sometimes I think we can lose that in the attempt to try too hard, instead of freeing ourselves to write the vagueries and wonderings of our imagination. Thank you for an entertaining and inspiring editorial.
-Puditat
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