 Spiritual: August 06, 2008 Issue [#2541] |
  Spiritual
This week: Edited by: larryp
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Tread softly; listen to the whispers |
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Though the Spiritual Newsletter covers a vast array of information, I often struggle to find a topic for the next newsletter. Honestly, sometimes I don’t feel ‘spiritual,’ but the spiritual part of a person is much more than a feeling – it is who the person is. Spiritual, I believe, is more about ‘being,’ than ‘feeling.’
As with all writers, a newsletter editor finds inspiration from many different areas. The topic for this newsletter came indirectly from my response to a review I received. The review was a very considerate review for one of my poems about homelessness and the reviewer made good suggestions, compelling a few revisions of the poem. The topic of homelessness is one of great importance for me, as I am involved with aiding the homeless families with children in our community. The review also questioned the intents of this poem. In response to her kind review, I included this statement: Poetry is always about perspective and as with all messages, not all will agree or be influenced. Such is life, but still if I don't express my true voice, I have betrayed who I am, and there remains no greater betrayal.
There are times in life when we need to compromise. Compromising among spouses keeps a relationship alive, giving both people freedom. Compromising as members of a team, for the good of the team, promotes the welfare of the team. However, I think there are times when to compromise is to betray who one really is and what remains is a mere shell of what was meant to be. The uniqueness of the person becomes lost or displaced. Compromise, then, becomes detrimental, an identity-betrayal.
Many of us know the deep pain of betrayal – betrayed by friends, lovers, business associates. Betrayal is rejection, loss of acceptable and appreciation. The highest form of betrayal, I believe, is to betray oneself for popular opinion or to avoid criticism. I struggled with being accepted most of my life, as I became a people-pleaser. Desiring to be accepted and appreciated, I denied the essence of my being to become what I thought others desired for me. The self-betrayal only caused great confusion and loss of identity.
I have learned that I cannot please everyone, regardless of the efforts I make to do so. I have learned that it is good to be different, to think differently, and to approach life differently than others do. I may not be listed among the ranks of the popular, but I know who I am now.
I remember a review I received for another poem. It was a free verse poem with no punctuation, a rarity indeed for me. I do write free verse poems and enjoy doing so, but this may have been my first attempt to write a poem free of punctuation. I am not one who believes that all poems should be punctuated; from my personal perspective, to write poetry without punctuation feels much like what I experience when I dance – that I may have two left feet.
In this review, the reviewer, who has previously reviewed other poems in my port, stated that it was good that I was finding my poetry style. The reviewer, an extremely talented poet who writes almost strictly in free verse had great intentions. Yet, what a tragedy it is when we expect others to do things the way we do them. I believe poetry is an expression of my spiritual being – even the style. How can I betray what I am because another believes that a certain style is of lesser value or how can I ask another to give up his or her uniqueness because of a style that I may not appreciate?
I am huge of fan of reviews. Reviews have helped me tremendously and have challenged me to reconsider and revise. Some reviews have vastly improved my poems. But in my poetry, as in my life, I must remain true to who I am, in message and in style. This does not mean I cannot experiment, that I cannot change. As a writer and a human, I believe it is important to continually improve. To change my deepest beliefs, the things that make me who I am, simply to appease another, betrays my true identity. No greater betrayal remains.
I like the following quotes about betrayal because, as a former people-pleaser, I betrayed my uniqueness by becoming what pleased others. Once a person wins back his voice and becomes what he was created to be, he will not easily give it up again.
Betrayal is the only truth that sticks.
~~Arthur Miller
All a man can betray is his conscience.
~~Joseph Conrad
People pleasers hold back from saying what they really think or from asking for what they want if they think someone will be upset with them for it. Yet they often spend time with people who don’t consider their needs at all. In fact, people pleasers often feel driven to make insensitive or unhappy people feel better - even at the detriment to themselves.
Constantly trying to please other people is draining and many people pleasers feel anxious, worried, unhappy, and tired a lot of the time. They may not understand why no one does anything for them, when they do so much for others - but they often won’t ask for what they need.
~~Kali Munro
http://www.kalimunro.com/article_pleasing.html
I had years of therapy to recover from this. A lot of it had to with being a people pleaser, being the ultimate good girl. I wanted everyone to like me. I didn't really have a voice. I was afraid of growing up.
~~Tracey Gold
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Zeke 
Like you, I didn't start writing until my late fifties. Since then, I have made it into a vocation that I devote several hours each day to.
My wonderful wife has been very supportive and is an excellent sounding board for some of my wilder ideas. Of course, finding God and my Savior has made my life complete.
Zeke
Zeke, my number one fan and encourager is my wife. Some things come late in life, like my love of writing and my wife, as well as understanding the difference between religion toward God and relationship with Him. Thank you for your faithfulness in reading the Spiritual Newsletter.
The editing team of the Spiritual Newsletter appreciates your feedback, comments, and questions.
If there is any topic you would like to see discussed in the newsletter, please send me a private email and I will seriously consider your request.
larryp
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