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"Criticism, like rain, should be gentle enough to nourish a man's growth without destroying his roots."~~Frank A. Clark
"Fix the problem, not the blame. "~~Japanese Proverb
"People ask for criticism, but they only want praise."~~W. Somerset Maugham |
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Observations from the other side of the coin...
I've gotten quite a few emails of late from newbies as well as from other colored cases referring to reviews or my last newsletter mentioning adverse responses to well worded critiques of work here at WDC.
Last I knew, WDC was a writing site. A site where one can receive reviews of their work in effort to revise and edit a piece to make it better.
Granted, some folks are here just to write. Whether or not others think a piece is excellent or not, doesn't really seem to apply.
Granted, some folks are here to garner as much praise as possible, regardless if a piece is truly well written.
Granted, some writers on site could care less if they are ever published; that isn't why they write.
Not a problem.
But some folks are here in an effort to increase their writing skills and to learn. Others, are here to offer their considerable expertise in efforts to help others get to a higher level of writing.
Let's be honest here. Everything we write is NOT perfect, nor is it at a level which cannot be improved upon. Having received an awardicon does not mean it is the best piece of writing ever written.
People who take the time and effort to write constructive reviews are doing so in order to offer help. It is usually well intentioned, well thought out, and offered as a means by which (one would think) to give ideas where a piece may be improved, be clearer or be able to communicate a thought in the best way possible.
Constructive criticism is not a personal attack. It isn't meant to lover someone's self esteem, rather to give them the tools to improve, thereby building esteem. Perceiving constructive criticism as a negative only means that the receiver is closing themselves off to improvement. By not valuing constructive help, one is closing themselves off and limiting their perspective as to how a piece of writing is received.
Writing is communication. If, as an author, we are not communicating a thought clearly, then we need to work on that, otherwise, why bother in the first place?
Then there is the misbegotten concept that all newbies are new writers. Nothing could be further from the truth. Some are. Many are not. A newbie diving in and writing reviews shouldn't be castigated for being new to the site and accused of being a new writer and not knowing of what they respond.
One newbie who wrote to me recently is an award winning writer and journalist having won the U.S. Navy's highest writing award several times. I would suggest this person knows very well how to write. I should think one would value the help and ideas this person can offer.
Another wrote to me because an older writer told her/him that because they were in their sixties and had been writing for years that the review offered was wrong and that the reviewer didn't know what they were talking about regarding writing. As the person who wrote to me is a full fledged adult, I found this a bit disconcerting as well.
No one 'likes' realizing a new piece, their 'baby' so to speak, really isn't as good as they might think. But it is a necessary evil if we are to improve. One of the hardest lessons to teach children is that revision is necessary, that a piece isn't 'done' after an initial draft. Perhaps it isn't only children who feel this way. We, as writers, need to learn that rewrites are inevitable.
Another newbie was told by an editor recently that she needed to completely rewrite an 85,000 word novel from a different perspective. Daunting, I should think, but she just shook her head, moaned a bit and then dove in. Kudos to her!
The worst reveiw I ever received on WDC, was far kinder than some I've received from editors. They have neither the time, nor the inclination, to be kind. Welcome to the real world.
JACE offers a good take on constructive criticism:Remember, their words will only have the power that you attach to them. You can choose to make some of their comments your own, and disregard the rest.
How you react to criticism defines you as a writer, and by extension, you as a person. The reviewer or judge may hold the keys, but you are the lock. You can decide to remain closed, or be opened and improve.
I think this states the concept very well.
There are myriads of items here on site regarding how to write a well intentioned, well thought-out review. Bottom line should be to take criticism in the manner it is offered and always remember it is not a personal attack. It is like telling a child that something they did is wrong. You don't tell them that they are stupid for doing something that might be stupid. The action may well be, but the person is not.
It seems to me that we are here to learn, to help others, to read and review. I may not be thrilled to get a 3.5 star rating. But if it is offered with good, well thought out constructive criticism, then I can always improve the piece given that new perspective and the reviewer's insights that I might have missed and then the reviewer can always re-rate it. Seems to me it is a win-win situation, not the opposite.
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Some pieces on reviewing.
For a good read!
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Comments from my last newsletter apply well to today's!
sarahreed writes:I recently got an email about how our mindset and reactions completely control how a situation turns out. For instance, if you wake up with a headache and are grouchy, you'll probably have a bad day because every reaction you have will be grouchy and escalate situations. On the other hand, if you realize that you are not feeling well and can put yourself into a more positive mindset (and maybe use aspirin to get rid of the headache), you'll respond positively and experience good situations. As I’ve learned from my boss, if someone’s email makes you angry, do not, under any circumstances, respond right away. Cool off. Talk to others, show them the email and get their take on it. But do not respond until you are thinking clearly, otherwise you will make a bad situation worse.
AMEN!!! Excellent advice!
raynstorm comments:Great point about reactions. For reviews, I try to give myself at least twenty four hours before responding.
I've received some scathing reviews before. For example, I have religious stories in my portfolio and for some reason, these attract people of different religions who become very angry with my beliefs. After a cooling off period though, I simply respond and tell them thank you for taking the time to read my work. It will never change the 1.0 they gave me, nor remove the sting of their words, but by acknowledging it with a simple response, I'm free of it. I don't have to dwell on it any longer and the initial hurt or anger fades away.
By the same token, when I receive 'critical' reviews, that have valid points, despite whatever I'm going through, I spend twenty four hours reflecting on the meat of the review before responding.
Good idea!
THANKFUL SONALI Library Class! says:Yes, fyn- a lot can affect us and in turn we can affect someone else. This works negatively as well as positively.
When I ride in an auto-riksha (a three wheeler that's standard public transport here in India), if the driver drives well, I tip him and thank him whether he expects it or not, and get a smile in return. I hope this translates to him being nice to someone in a traffic jam or something ... !
Hmmmm...paying it forward!
percy goodfellow adds:As a newby I have tried to behave myself and keep my reviews upbeat, non confrontational and constructive. For the most part the responses from the rank and file have been to accept them in the spirit intended.
In several cases however, my reviews of those entrenched.... those running contest forums...have been taken wrong and their responses have been unexpectedly abrupt.
In other words there is a chill that almost says. "Look newby...I have been here six years... All my friends tell me how great I am..don't presume to tell me how to write until you get out of your diapers."
Another example of the situation I referred to above!
I only point this out to show that its not just the newbys that sometimes cop an attitude, but rather that those you'd expect to be the most socialized...the oldtimers, who are sometimes the most intolerant.
Too true. Perhaps we all need a reminder that we are on the same team!
chicochica offers:Fantastic. Thank you so much for bringing an oft forgotten or neglected aspect of human nature. The "afterglow" is just as (if not more) important that the event itself. There are different stages to mourning and even celebration--the time it "hits" us and cleaning up the mess afterward/organizing can be tough.
Thanks again! This is an issue I'm going to keep.
Thank YOU!
monty31802 says:Point well made, fine newsletter.
Thanks, Monty! |
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