  Romance/Love
This week: Edited by: darkin
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Welcome to the Romance/Love Newsletter. My name is darkin and I'll be your guest editor this week. So sit back, relax and enjoy the ride
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Conflict is the Name of the Game in Romance
I used to work with a woman who had a strange outlook on what was considered romantic. Her idea of a perfect evening with a man was chili dogs at the truck pulls! Don't bother bringing her flowers and chocolate, it wouldn't get you past the front door. 
Another co-worker was just the opposite. He felt the need to hold the door for ladies, pay for dinner, and basically shower them with romance. He was the man all of the women who worked there wanted to find, even the ones who were already married. 
So imagine our surprise when these two co-workers not only met, but fell in love with each other? Not a single person in the shop saw that pairing coming. And as you'd think, their romantic beginnings did not run smoothly. 
Physical attraction between your hero and heroine is important. It is the basis for their initial meeting and is what gets their hearts pumping for romance. But what keeps a relationship going, and makes the attraction turn into deep, meaningful love is what is going on inside your characters. How their personalities mesh with one another. That is the meat and potatoes of any romance.
The old saying "opposites attract" is a wonderful conflict mantra, but be careful. Making your hero and heroine too different can make for a very bumpy romantic road for them to walk. You want them to have enough in common that they are willing to work out their differences. If you make them too much alike, it will be a boring story. If you make them complete opposites, it will make the changes they both have to go through unbelievable, not to mention difficult to write.
Giving your character's flaws, fears and personal convictions that are opposite enough to make them question how they could fall in love with someone like that. The easiest way to do this is find a common thread between them, then choose opposite ends of that thread to place them on. Use those traits to increase the conflict and the emotional tension in a romance story.
If your heroine is a crusader trying to save the rainforest, make your hero someone who works for a corporation that is destroying it. If your hero is a die-hard biker dude, make your heroine afraid of anything on two wheels.
You get the idea. Give them something they don't agree on, right from the start. By creating something they can disagree on, you are putting a wedge between them, romantically. Remember, this can be anything you wish, it doesn't have to be a major thing. It just has to be something they both care deeply about and are willing to disagree over.
As they get to know each other, and fall more in love, you need to show their personalities and convictions changing. You do this by putting them into situations that test their convictions, and push them to the limits. Make them sweat, and suffer, before they come to their realizations! That's what makes great conflict and what romance readers want. 
But what of the couple I spoke about at the beginning of this article? What happened to them? Well, as I said, their relationship started off pretty rocky. For a while there, we all thought they'd just give up and start seeing other people. But in the end they didn't. Last I heard, they were celebrating their 15th wedding anniversary and had 4 kids! In time, he learned to like truck pulls and she decided that getting flowers wasn't the end of the world.
Just what every reader wants, a happy ending!
Thank you for taking the time to read. Happy Writing!
darkin
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Here are some items I found while traveling the highways and byways of Writing.Com!
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Thank you for allowing me into your e-mail boxes for this week's issue. Since I am a guest editor, I don't have feedback to show, but I had a wonderful time writing this issue and would love to hear what you think about it.
darkin
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Romance/Love: August 05, 2009 Issue [#3201]
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