 Comedy: August 26, 2009 Issue [#3241] |
  Comedy
This week: Edited by: Robert Waltz  
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"I had thought — I had been told — that a 'funny' thing is a thing of a goodness. It isn't. Not ever is it funny to the person it happens to. Like that sheriff without his pants. The goodness is in the laughing itself. I grok it is a bravery... and a sharing... against pain and sorrow and defeat."
- Valentine Michael Smith
(Robert Heinlein,
Stranger in a Strange Land) |
| ASIN: 1945043032 |
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In Vino Veritas
I have a confession to make.
I'm a wine snob.
Also, a beer snob, tequila snob, Scotch snob... and so on.
Though I come from the humble roots of rural Virginia, over the years
| Not that many years, thankyouverymuch |
I figure, life's too short to drink the cheap stuff, right?
Anyway, recently, my wife had the idea to visit local vineyards for wine-tasting. So off we went - BACK to rural Virginia - to sample the wares at a small selection of spoiled-grape-juice manufacturers.
Unless you live in Virginia, you may not know this, but our fair state
| Actually, it's a "Commonwealth" |
Also, some real rotgut.
The way wine tasting goes is this
| Kids, don't try this at home, until you're 21 anyway |
You go to the place - in this case, the actual location where they spoil the grape juice - and find yourself amongst a plethora of other wine snobs. You scoff at them at first, for being wine snobs; then it hits you that you're one, too, and you suffer a moment of self-hatred until you remember that you've decided beforehand that you're going to be okay with this aspect of your personality.
It's usually not all that crowded. People are wandering the grounds, often, or sitting on the handy chairs provided. You go up to the counter and get the List. The list describes each wine, usually starting with whites, moving through the abomination known as rose
| And if you're really unlucky, white zinfandel |
I should note that unless you're a complete lightweight, you don't become inebriated during this process. The quantities are quite small, just enough for a... wait for it... taste. Besides, if you're really concerned about that, some people spit the taste into a convenient receptacle placed there for your benefit. The spitting process probably has a fancy name, but I don't know it.
The wines have fancy descriptions, too, all spelled out on the fact sheet. "A bright nose with hints of almond and saffron, with a palate of melon kissed by wisps of grapefruit, and a clean, smooth finish," for example. "Nose" refers to the scent of the wine - I suppose "smell," scent" or "odor" would be too vulgar. There's also a name for the part of speech where a thing (nose) is substituted for what it's for (smelling), but I'm too lazy to look it up. "Palate," similarly, refers to what the liquid tastes like on the tongue. Which is weird, because if you're going to use that part of speech I'm too lazy to look up, why not say "mouth" or "tongue," huh? The "finish," breaking the streak of whatever that part of speech is, refers to what in other cultures is known as the "aftertaste." In no part of this is it permitted to refer to "grapes
| Unless the wine is made from some other fruit, of course |
The fermenting process itself has technical terms, but they're easier to understand, like "aged in oak casks" or "fermented with a pile of dirty socks
| I'm convinced that at least one of the samples I tried was this, but it didn't say so on the handy fact sheet. |
But it's still snobbery. I rate wines by two basic criteria: I like it, or I don't like it. The first category has three subcategories: Affordable, Expensive, and Oy!
Partly, that's because I can't be bothered to memorize wine snobbery terms; but also, in part, it's because a lot of the more subtle flavors are lost upon me.
You see, I'm also a cigar snob...
I would be remiss in my responsibility if I didn't include the standard disclaimer: If you drink, enjoy responsibly and legally, and whatever else you do, don't drive drunk. The results would never be funny. |
Editor's Note: Normally, here, I try to link to items with a range of Content Ratings. However, to keep to the more adult theme of this newsletter, 13+ is the minimum rating for items with alcohol content. Sorry, kids.
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Last time, I talked about interaction in comedy.
Thomas  : You like interactive comedy do you? OK, here's a riddle.
Q: What do you call a joke without a punchline?
A: A joke without a punchline.
April Sunday : This nl is rather surprising, Waltz. First your hook re: nerdy girls (other than Molly Shannon in character) they aren't on the tube these days. The knock out dames are up on stage. Plus I like it when a JUNEBUG blog comment spoofs my serious side. This brings the matter back to Earth and their sharing is enjoyable. Oh well ... rather brief what's it about? Best summmer! Write on!
Two words, Tef: Sarah. Silverman. Besides, since when does being nerdy mean you're not a knockout? I mean, me, for instance: I'm nerdy as hell, and twice as hot.
And that's it for this time. Hey, people, how about some more feedback, huh? I can't do nothin' without you give me some material! But, okay, even if you don't, until next time...
LAUGH ON! |
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