  Romance/Love
This week: The June Bride Syndrome Edited by: Crys-not really here  
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Hello! My name is Crys-not really here . Welcome to the Romance/Love Newsletter! This week's topic is very personal to me. It's a heartfelt look at marriage, and why I'm not bride. Whether you're single, engaged, married, or somewhere in between like me, I hope you take something from my mistakes and thoughts. |
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The June Bride Syndrome
I'm at that age where everyone I know from high school and college is getting married. This June, my Facebook feed was constantly barraged by relationship status changes and wedding photos. It was enough to make me nuts. I don't usually react that way; in fact, I've always been happy to see young couples in love and beginning their lives together, but something about this year really got to me.
I was kinda hoping to get married sometime soon. I was engaged awhile back, but things didn't work out, and now I'm not really sure I'll ever have that chance again. It's an odd feeling to be 26 and feel like an old maid. It's not that I feel like I should be married, it's just that I feel like I'm expected to be married at my age.
When I was engaged, I realized something about myself. I was one of "those girls" who wanted to be engaged only for the title. What's worse, I wanted to get married not because I wanted to be married, but because I wanted to plan a wedding.
I was one of those women who spent hours at the library pouring over bride magazines and looking at TheKnot.com. I knew what colors I wanted, had picked out a dress, and knew who my bridesmaids were going to be within the week. I was absolutely on cloud nine, and no one could put me down.
It was a good feeling. I was living every little girl's dream and planning my dream wedding. (By the way, if everything had gone my way during this wedding, there's no way I could have afforded it.) I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. Soon afterwards, I went through a series of personal issues that ultimately broke my fiancé and me apart. I was thrown off my cloud and landed right back on earth. Hard. What I learned from that experience was that I wasn't ready to be married. I'm not emotionally or financially stable, and I'm not confident in myself enough to give a piece of myself to someone else. I wanted to be a bride, not a wife.
Maybe I'm still jealous of all those girls I know who are getting married. I just can't look at the pictures anymore. The white dresses, the beautiful flowers, the bridesmaids in cute dresses in the same color and different style (that's how I would have done it). . . I'm happy for all of them and wish them well, but I can't hear about how they picked out their flowers or favors without feeling a little cheated out of my chance to be a Bridezilla. (I would have been, no doubt.)
Recently, some friends of mine from Pittsburgh got married in a beautiful outdoor ceremony beside a fountain in a public park. The groom, who is from India, wore traditional Indian clothes, and so did his wife, who is from a small town in Michigan. Her wedding "dress" was red. The guests included some of the best people I've ever met-musicians from his multi-cultural band, co-workers from where she teaches English as a Second Language, and lots of children. When I saw the pictures, I was overwhelmed by the amount of joy on their faces. It was far from a traditional wedding, but it appeared absolutely perfect for them.
Weddings like that give me hope for the future. Maybe someday I'll get married, and it won't be about the color of the bridesmaid dresses or what types of flowers are in my bouquet. It'll be about the joy I share with my groom and our family and friends. I think that's when I'll know I'm ready.
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Thank you to everyone who wrote in and shared their memories of junior high and high school dances with me, after my June newsletter! They were all so fun and nostalgic to read. I've included most of them bellow.
Another fine Newsletter Crys, yep guys think them too or at least did 50 years ago.  -monty31802
Nice! This one brought back fond memories. Yep, those seventh through ninth grade dances were super. -Annette 
This was a sweet newsletter. I made me think of my first 'real' kiss. I actually wrote a poem about it. I was never shy but refused to have my first kiss until I found someone who meant something to me. He eventually broke my heart but hey, it made for good poetry material! -scribbler 
Great newsletter! I think you took us all on a journey back to our Junior High days
I remember many of those occasions where I'd come to find I'd had "unrealistic expectations",tee-hee. -Lexi Rose
Boy did this ever bring me back to those days of the high school dance when you went hoping and praying a miracle would happen and you wouldn't spend the entire dance being miserable. (and then swearing you'd never go to one again...until that time came and you conveniently forgot how bad it was the time before.)
Thank you for using my short story, 'The Dust Jacket' in your newsletter! -Fyn 
Great newsletter this week.
I so remember those junior high dances. The smell of the boys overdone Polo cologne rising up from his member's only jacket. The cheesy songs and cheap paper decorations, stuck to the cafeteria wall to set the mood. Many lives are changed at those dances. Thanks for bringing back those "firsts" for me, and thanks for featuring my poem too. Keep it up! -Wordgoddess back from the dead
I liked the reminiscences about the junior high dance. I also remember being young and emotional and practically having a crush on every cute boy in school. It's good to look back on that with fondness and wisdom, and not embarrassment or regret.
Memories like this in a novel can help give the characters depth and provide a little insight for the reader. Good stuff! -Victoria Earle
Hmmm, where was this insight when I was in the seventh grade? If the boys were like me, we were terrified of asking you young ladies to dance for fear of rejection. I think that wall-flower comment works both ways. Thanks for your thought-provoking newsletter, Crys. -JACE  |
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Romance/Love: July 07, 2010 Issue [#3835]
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