 Comedy: July 28, 2010 Issue [#3883] |
  Comedy
This week: Hot Edited by: Robert Waltz  
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"I had thought - I had been told - that a 'funny' thing is a thing of a goodness. It isn't. Not ever is it funny to the person it happens to. Like that sheriff without his pants. The goodness is in the laughing itself. I grok it is a bravery... and a sharing... against pain and sorrow and defeat."
- Valentine Michael Smith
(Robert Heinlein,
Stranger in a Strange Land) |
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Hot
Did I mention it's freakin' hot around here?
Earlier this month, right around July 4, I was in the Pacific Northwest, hiking up a mountain in the Cascades. (Yes, even I, a dedicated indoorsman, get out and let nature crawl on me and bite my ankles every now and then.) When I got back to the rental car (one of them newfangled models with a thermometer and a compass), I discovered I'd been hiking - in t-shirt and shorts - in 40 degree air. Probably even colder up the mountain.
That's 40 Fahrenheit for my Canadian readers, eh?
The reason I mention this is that a week later I was back home in Virginia, sweating my ass off without moving a muscle on my back deck, in 110 degree heat.
That's what my thermometer said. 110.
I was wishing I was back in the Cascades.
For the purposes of this newsletter, though, the important thing is that when it's very hot (or very cold), and you want to convey it to someone else, you need to use hyperbole. Hyperbole is basically exaggeration for effect: "It's hot as Hell" is the most common comparison, but of course that's clichéd. You need to be more inventive. "Feels like a steel mill out here," or "The surface of the sun's getting jealous." If you don't use hyperbole, you run the risk of being one-upped, and that's the worst thing to happen to a comedian: "Damn, it's hot out here," you say. "This is nothing," your 'friend' retorts. "One time I was in Death Valley and even the scorpions were sweating."
There is, of course, another way to convey how hot it is, but I don't know the name of it and, as usual, I'm too lazy to look it up. What you do is, you think of another definition of "hot" that has nothing to do with temperature and use that as a comparison: "Man... it's hotter than a bikini model wrestling match out here."
Yeah... I'll go with that one from now on. At least the resulting imagery will take my mind off of my body desiccating into mummy-hood in the heat. |
Some humorous takes on the heat:
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Last time, in "Comedy Newsletter (June 30, 2010)" , I shot off about the Fourth of July and the late start in developing an essentially American brand of comedy.
drjim:
Waltzy - baaaaaaaaaaaaad joke, baaaaaaaaaaaad joke! Just what we needed during a time when nearly the entire European culture shuns us disdainfully, mocks our tourists that feed their economies (they play this game entitled, " Spot The Fat American") and in general, thought Bill Clinton's misadventures being highlighted in the press as indicative of America, as a whole, being filled with a bunch of prudes. I guess I'll stick with my guns, at least wish that "I Wanna Be Like Mike", and hope for the best! Here's to beloved Europe, forever t-h-a-n-k-f-u-l that us ersatz Yankees never failed to liberate them during times of their genocidal splendour!
This is why we make fun of y'all: "splendour." Seriously.
LJPC - the tortoise  :
Hi Robert! Funny newsletter - I never knew about the Devil's Dictionary - thanks for the link. You chose a bunch of good stories to highlight. Who'd have guessed July 4th could inspire so much silliness?  - Laura
I'm pretty sure Ben Franklin would have approved of the silliness. Don't know about the others.
BIG BAD WOLF is Howling  :
Well if I'm looking for a laugh I know where to go, especially to find a funny story or two. Keep on passing out the yokes. 
The yokes? Sure, as long as you keep oxing for them.
Smiling Jack :
Thank you, Robert, for including me in your Revolutionary Edition of the Comedy Newsletter. Thanks, too, for introducing me to Ambrose Bierce.
Smiling Jack
And thank YOU for reading and commenting!
And that's it for this edition - until next time, stay cool and
LAUGH ON!!! |
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